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Ready For A Relationship? Ladies, Not So Fast
Relationships. They are a great thing when they are right. Two people come together and share a deep, loving relationship that is perfect, honest, true and infinitely divine – that is powerful. When two people agree with the vision of each other’s life and come together to improve each other’s lives, what a couple. So if you’re single and looking for a relationship, I think this might be what you’re looking for. And such love can happen to you. But not if you settle down. A number of women these days seem to have no problem accepting breadcrumbs from guys. They want to be in a relationship or have someone so they are willing to receive attention or love. The main reason I believe women settle is because we are organized. They started us with baby dolls and dollhouses from our childhood to make us think that our responsibility is to take care of the house and be good wives to our husbands. So we grow up thinking about our wedding day, our soldier in shining armor and raising a family – the ideal of America. And 30 somehow turned out to be a magical age when the perfect dream should come true. So if you hit 30 and you are single, then people will make you believe that there is something wrong with you. Then we start questioning our value as a woman. Contrary to popular belief, a woman’s purpose on earth is NOT just to be a woman. It is NOT just a mother. Every woman has been blessed with gifts and talents by God so that in addition to using those gifts, she can choose to be a wife and/or a mother. You are NOT defined by your husband or relationship. Many women are getting into relationships for the wrong reasons and they continue to end in trouble. To avoid repeating the same broken record, here are a few signs that you might be dating for the wrong reasons:
Running. You hit your 30s (or beyond) and you’re scared. You believe you are old. In a way you are sure that if you are 35 years old, for example, you are old. Well those thoughts are what will lead you into the wrong relationship because your goal in a relationship is that you are not too old to be with someone versus being with the right person. You believe you need to hurry because your biological clock is ticking. And while some may argue that statistics show that the older a woman gets, the more difficult it is for her to conceive, there are also many women who give birth to healthy children over the age of 30. They are trying to conceive after the age of 35. This opportunity can be full of joy and many questions. I understand that you want to give yourself a great chance in terms of fertility but would you rather run and have a child for life with the wrong person or wait for God’s favor? I hope you like this last one. Rushing into a relationship can’t be good.
Filling the Void. Do you really want a relationship or are you just bored? Are you lonely? Sometimes we enter a relationship to fill a need. We look to someone to fill a void in our lives that can only be filled by our own selfishness. You need to get back to some of your favorite things. Go back to your goals and dreams. What are your hobbies? What motivates you? You need a relationship to fill something inside. You need external validation to feel worthy; if you get into a relationship, then it shows that you still want it. Well if you go into a relationship looking for someone to show you value, then don’t be surprised if it doesn’t work out. You need to know your worth. Work on yourself. Invest in yourself. Bring it to yourself. In other words, take your time. This way you will fill yourself up and you won’t have to go looking for a relationship to fill a void in your life.
You are not ready. Are you really ready to be in a relationship? Are you really ready to put in the work necessary to build a solid foundation from the ground up or are you just in love with the idea of dating? Most of us are not ready for love. We think we are because we watch romantic movies or read romantic books. Unless you are willing to take your time and get to know someone better, you are not ready. You are not ready to make someone a priority. You are not really in the space to give to someone else. Love comes to give. You have to think about the other person in other matters. You can’t be like or be of the same mind if you’re in a relationship. You need to start preparing for it. Really think about whether you are ready to fully commit to another person or are you honestly just thinking about everything? Stop the myth. It’s not real.
I believe in love. I believe that people can show true love. I believe we can all have the love we want and deserve but we don’t have to settle for it. We also have to do the inner work on ourselves. Let’s get a better understanding of where we are in life. A relationship (or marriage) will not make everything perfect. Do the inner work and be honest with yourself about your relationship goals. Don’t rush into a relationship just because you want to be with him. You deserve more. You are the Queen. Love yourself enough to wait for the best.
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