Would An Older Man Leave Wife For 20 Year Old Midlife Crisis In Men

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Midlife Crisis In Men

The last decades of the twentieth century have seen the respect and worship of Youth Culture. The ubiquitous Yuppies have taken the world by storm. They are knowledgeable, creative, highly intelligent, powerful and ambitious. This together with the change of sex, obsession with the beauty of men and women, different types of Feminism, and the rapid spread of information, has brought about a “cultural earthquake” that has given many middle-aged people, a sense of culture. insecurity. Midlife crisis as a disease in men has been recognized since the 20th century.

Carl Jung in his book “Modern Man In Search Of His Soul,” compared the stages of life to the progress of the sun across the sky, from East to West. He places the middle age between the ages of 35 and 50, and calls it the High Noon of man’s existence. It can be an exciting time of life and a great opportunity, if people are not afraid of old age. It should be welcomed as a time of discovery, not a time of stagnation or collapse. It requires a change in lifestyle, behavior and beliefs. Crude answers give way to rational decisions. The transition period takes a long time for life to reset, and to be rebuilt. It can be anything between three and five years.

Knowing about the changes that can happen in men and women, one must prepare mentally, and recognize the symptoms when they occur, so that the crisis can be avoided.

A wise man said: “People who prepare for fire live longer than those who don’t.” And the British psychoanalyst Elliot Jacques, assures us that creative people like Goethe, Beethoven, Voltaire and Ibsen have all experienced mid-life crises.

But for those who are not prepared, the medium can catch them off guard. One day while walking fast, a man may find that other boys have found him and he cannot find them; Or his mirror may show gray at the temples or falling hair; Or when the kids on the street insist on calling him “Uncle,” suddenly realizing that Big “C” has arrived. A person who is proud of his “macho” image acts like a person facing imminent death. They go through different stages of denial, anger, depression, and find ways and means to slow down aging. Sudden heart attacks caused by stress are known to increase in the early forties.

The low level of hormones and low sexual power creates a kind of desperation that makes him uncharacteristic. He may be obsessed with grooming, wearing fancy clothes, selling a fancy car, or doing youthful things like disco jumping. This is the time when he may start courting a younger girl to be his daughter, because her admiration and importance increases his self-esteem. This is the classic “Sugar-Daddy” syndrome, where through the eyes of little girls, they feel young again. He is safe from the sniffers around him. He finds his married life boring and boring. About 25% of divorces happen during this critical period. Couples are frustrated and families are broken because of sexual infidelity. When the romance fades, she realizes that her marriage is over, and she has nowhere to turn for comfort. And so, he may run from one relationship to another, or turn to alcohol or drugs to comfort his broken heart.

Bergler calls it “Emotional Second Adolescence.” Sometimes an older man may find out about his teenage daughter’s sexuality. Then, self-hatred, self-pity, shame and guilt plague him.

People who stay married are not happy. They can be angry and angry, and destroy the peaceful atmosphere of the home, abusing their poor wives through no fault of their own.

This is also the stage when a man feels caught between two generations, each burdening him with responsibility. Children who are growing up on the one hand, who want to be independent and have difficulty living with their parents, and on the other hand, elderly relatives who are dependent on them and who need constant care.

At work, professional life can be high, without the prospect of further promotion; Or he may be burdened with too many responsibilities without leaving family time and personal life; Or the competition from your more knowledgeable and creative peers can be so fierce, that they are always kept in check.

And finally, he faces his death. Arthritis, bifocals, diabetes, hypertension and other illnesses make life difficult.

A number of stressors change during middle age, so it is estimated that 75-80% of men between the ages of 35-50 will suffer from midlife stress in this century.

Changes can be good if you plan well. According to Freud, Man has two basic needs – Work and Love, and Dr. The Joyce Brothers say that Work is more important than Love.

This is the time for a man to reevaluate and revise the goals he has set for himself. If he has been busy with work, he should relax, and spend quality time with his wife and children. Sometimes he may feel disappointed, that it is already too late to form a meaningful relationship with his children. They can no longer be on the same wavelength. He may also start to doubt that he has suddenly become involved.

If there is a desire to change jobs, this should be well planned and discussed with his family, since he will need moral support. Many middle-aged people feel an internal pressure to lose the security of a steady job because of what they’ve wanted to do all along, but never tried. Many writers and artists feel this need. Doctors have given up very lucrative jobs to use the pen. At the age of 35, Gaugin left a secure job in banking to start painting. He became a great Impressionist painter.

One of the best ways to get through middle age is to strengthen family unity. Today’s culture has devalued marriage and sexual fidelity. However, many community problems can be caused by unpleasant and unstable home conditions.

“Good marriages do not happen at the wedding ceremony. “They grow over the years, through long periods of doubt and frustration, change and tolerance,” said a psychologist. This happens in the middle of life, when the stress of one or both affects the other. The strength of a family is in being able to understand your partner’s pain, and to deal with it patiently. A wife will not only understand her husband’s problem but also listen to him, encourage him to talk about his hopes and wishes, and examine and redefine his behavior if necessary. A man who feels secure in his marriage will not hesitate to express his needs and concerns to his spouse. In the same way, a man will be a fortress of strength for his wife who may be going through problems in the middle of her life.

Different fears grip the middle-aged man. Fear of powerlessness and failure

fainting leads to anxiety, depression, and sometimes a silent withdrawal from sex. Aging can reduce the amount of sexual desire. He starts to fear that his wife may start loving other men. Publishers show that modern women are not satisfied, and this hinders her. Extra sex in marriage to save oneself is a sign of marital breakdown. A good woman cannot be bored. She will understand the turmoil inside her husband, and will be quick to encourage him with her support and cooperation. It’s not sex that drives a man away, it’s lack of intimacy. If an affair starts during this difficult time, it does not mean that the marriage must end. Couples who love each other very much are ready to forgive, especially if the offended party is remorseful and ashamed of what happened. The discovery of the relationship will take away his beauty and happiness, and act as a hindrance in the future. It is very important to find the cause of the infidelity, and fix it.

Sexual life does not stop in the middle of life. Instead it changes, because there is a new freedom from constraints. Couples can have shameless, intimate conversations. Only the speed and order are subject to change. During adolescence, a man reaches climax in a matter of minutes, and many women are simply frustrated and dissatisfied with sex. But in middle age when the arousal is slow, and the erectile response weakens, the woman will have enough opportunities to go to climax with her husband, because more time is spent on showing and in sympathy. Emotional communication, hugs or physical contact can bring physical satisfaction, not just physical activity. “Sex change” is possible even at this age. Couples who value their sexuality discover new things about each other, and choose new sexual methods to experiment with. Having a sense of humor and the freedom to explore can help couples have sex well into old age. Comedian Woody Allen’s old Casanova, says that out of 56 sexual positions, only eight can be profitable without laughter.

Middle age also sees a slight shift in individual roles. A person becomes happier as he grows older. Having reached the peak of his career, he now longs to be in a relationship with his wife and family. He expects his wife to act like a girlfriend, loving and caring. However, a woman who has spent her best years raising her family, sacrificing her own needs, is now confident and self-reliant, and wants her own space to grow. He may look for other jobs outside his home. Even though she is hardworking, her husband is very oppressive. Although her hidden masculine qualities are exposed, feminine aspects such as passion and compassion are more evident in her husband. Thus a new balance of work is achieved in all areas of their lives. Standards and beliefs change. New friends and new hobbies delight them.

Middle age can be a very special time. It opens our eyes to areas of our lives that have never satisfactorily existed, and gives us the opportunity to renew our personality. With an understanding partner by our side, who is not only our best friend but also a devoted family member, the middle age is nothing to fear.

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