Why Would A 35 Year Old Date An Older Man The Psychology Behind the Cougar Dating Phenomenon

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The Psychology Behind the Cougar Dating Phenomenon

There are obvious questions and myths that surround the old woman/teenage romance. Here is a small list:

Question: Isn’t this just about sex? And don’t the Cougars just want a guy who just enjoys sports?

No! Most people think of Stiffler’s mom in American Pie or Mrs. Robinson from The Graduate and think of Cougars as old, desperate women who want to pounce on every guy and hit. There is more to this relationship than people think. It’s not just about sex, and yes, I know many May/December couples who are happily married. Cougar moms are very picky about their younger men and that means guys have to have more to bring to the party than libido. Young men are driving this trend. There are smaller men looking for older women than there are older women looking for younger men. So, it’s a ladies choice.

Q: Is Cougar dating here to stay?

Yes. It has existed and is very popular in Europe. In the United States, 30 percent of older women date younger men. The BBC says that 25% of older women marry younger men. From a physical standpoint, it makes sense that an older woman would prefer a younger man. From a psychological point of view, I have interviewed thousands of men who had a defining moment in their lives when they knew they were attracted to older women and liked them more than women their own age.

Question: Why don’t these boys follow women their own age?

Young men tell me that women their age are boring, domineering, playful, selfish, and shallow. He is attracted to the depth, maturity and spirit of a great woman.

Q: What happens when a dad turns 35 and his Cougar is 50 or 60 or older? Don’t the boys leave?

20 years of psychological research on psychosexual imprinting examines how young men are imprinted on older women. A brand is a very powerful emotional thing that is a lifelong bond. Their babysitter, school teacher, mother’s best friend, actresses and other older women created a look that made them attracted to older women. Even as these men grow older, they continue to seek women who are older than themselves. For this reason, men in their 40s and older see themselves as young children and refuse to date women their age or younger. This explains why a man in his late 30’s can marry a woman 20 years older and once again single, long to find, date and marry an older woman. Not all Kids are in their 20s, and as I always say to my members: ‘There’s a lid to every pot.’

Q: So, is there more to Cougar dating than the general public knows?

The media and pop culture ‘experts’ jumped on the bandwagon knowing little about this. They want to brief this population and love them and make them profitable, popular and sell their “self-published” books. People I have interviewed who have lived for many years object to the prejudice of people who do not have the knowledge that they give a picture of their very difficult life. I do my best to improve.

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