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Beauty Myth and the Cinderella Complex: Youth Beauty And Money – Is That All There Is?
Amayika mtima wake wosweka m’mbale yaing’ono yopemphapempha ndikugwada pamaso pake. Amapatsa chikondi chake ngati kusintha kotayirira – kudzisangalatsa ndi mawonekedwe ake othokoza. Kwa kamphindi kakang’ono onse awiri akunamizira kuti kusinthana kwa mtengo kwachitika. Amakumbukira nthawi yomwe ankamufuna ndi chilakolako. Amakumbukira nthawi imene onse ankamuchitira zachinyengo. Amakumbukira yemwe anali ndi mphamvu yokopa; mphamvu ya unyamata, nkhope yokongola, kugonana ndi nyonga. Analota maloto azinthu zonse zotheka. Zoonadi, loto lalikulu kwambiri la onse likugwirizana ndi malingaliro ake a mtsikana “Ndikufuna kukhala mkwatibwi”. Amakumbukira bwino lomwe tsiku laukwati wake, ndizo zonse zomwe amafuna ndipo nthawi zambiri amaliona ngati ‘tsiku lake lachifumu’.
Adadi adamuyitana Princess pomwe amamugoneka pabedi usiku. Amakhulupilira kuti anali mwana wake wamkazi ndipo sanakayikire zolosera zake za tsiku limodzi kudzakhala mkazi wokongola, kugwa mchikondi ndikukhala mosangalala mpaka kalekale.
Ndi nthabwala bwanji. Ndi bodza lalikulu lonenepa bwanji. Kodi ananyengedwadi chonchi? Kodi chinali mwayi, kuweruza koyipa, zosankha zoyipa kapena maloto a ‘ena’ okha. Mwina sichinachitike kwa iye kuti Mfumukazi mwa kutanthauzira iyenera kukhala yaying’ono komanso yokongola.
Cinderella mwina adayambitsa zonse ndipo adalimbikitsidwa mobwerezabwereza m’mabuku, makanema, zokambirana ndi chikhalidwe.
Ali mwana ankadabwa za ‘Iye’ ndipo ankasewera masewera ovala zovala ndi anzake. Onse adatchedwa Mayi ndipo adakonza tiyi kuti bambo akabwera kunyumba. Iwo anali ndi zidole za akwatibwi ndi zidole za ana. Iwo analingalira ndi kulinganiza chisangalalo chawo chaukwati chamtsogolo. Iye, anali wokongola, wopambana, wolemera ndi wachikondi.
Atsikana sankayembekezera kuti azidandaula kwambiri ndi zinthu monga maphunziro kapena zachuma. Izi zinali pokhapokha mutakhala ‘Plain Jane’. Ayi, anyamata sakonda atsikana ngati ali anzeru kwambiri. Kukongola ndiye chinsinsi – kukongola ndi chilichonse. Kukongola ndi tikiti yanu yolowera ‘mosangalala mpaka kalekale’.
Mwamwayi nthawi zonse zinkandisokoneza maganizo. Atsikana ambiri ankawoneka kuti anali omasuka kwambiri ndi nkhaniyo yomwe imathera mosangalala. Zinandivutitsa pang’ono – makamaka zidandidetsa nkhawa kwambiri. Ndidaziwona ngati pang’ono ngati imfa. Ndinkaona ngati mutakwatirana nkhani yanu yatha. Ngati mwachisangalalo chinakhala chodabwitsa kwambiri ndiye bwanji sinakhale nkhani ina; nkhani yabwinoko?
Chinanso chimene chinandisokoneza kwambiri chinali chakuti tili wachinyamata tonse tinali otengeka kwambiri ndi maonekedwe athu ndikuchita matsenga athu, koma chinachake chinkawoneka chachilendo kwambiri. Akazi okwatiwa a m’tauni yanga anali zitsanzo chabe zachisangalalo chosatha. Sindikufuna kukhala wopanda chifundo, koma amayiwa adandiwopa kwambiri. Amunawo sanali akalonga kapena okongola.
(Ndinadabwa za mtsikana amene anapsompsona chule amene anakhala mwana wa kalongayo. Pali njerewere zambiri zomwe ndingayembekezere ndipo mwina sizili kutali kwambiri ndi zenizeni.)
Chabwino ine sindikudziwa amene anali ndi njerewere kapena amene anali ndi chiyani; Ndinkangoyang’ana ndikudabwa. Ndinaona amuna omwe ankamwa mowa kwambiri ndipo ankakuwa kwambiri. Azimayi ovala madiresi opanda ulusi ndi ana ang’onoang’ono onyowa akulendewera pa iwo. Tsitsi mu ma curlers apulasitiki ndi zikhomo za zovala mkamwa. Sopo masana ndi wailesi yakanema. Sindinkadziwa chilichonse chokhudza ‘chuma chonse cha m’dziko’. Zokwanira kugula fags kwa sabata ndi punt pa pony mwina, koma palibe diamondi kapena mink malaya amene anali zizindikiro udindo pa nthawiyo.
Zinthu zasintha pang’ono kuyambira nthawi imeneyo ndipo akazi amasiku ano akukayikira zina mwazinthu izi. Mwamwayi, amayi tsopano akupeza maphunziro, ntchito zabwino komanso ndalama zodziyimira pawokha. Ambiri, akupezanso kuti ali okhoza kulera okha ana m’malo momangokhalira kuchitirana nkhanza. Kumva akazi akulankhula mungaganize kuti apendadi ndikuthetsa mikangano yawo ya Cinderella, koma sichoncho?
Kodi nzeru zimachotsadi ziyembekezo zaubwana zimenezo? Kodi timakhulupirirabe kuti mkazi ayenera kukhala wokongola kuti akope ndi kusunga mwamuna? Kodi chimwemwe chathu ndi chitetezo chathu zimadalira unyamata wathu ndi kugonana?
Sali opambana, anzeru, akazi azaka zapakati akulotabe mobisa za ‘Iye’. Ukwati umodzi, awiri ukwati, atatu ukwati, anayi!
Mwina ngati Cindella Part 2 idalembedwapo tikadapeza kuti Cinderella adakhaladi mosangalala mpaka kalekale. Iye ayenera kuti anadutsa mu magawo achilengedwe a moyo ndi chisomo ndi chithumwa. Ayenera kuti adapereka zinthu zaunyamata mosavuta komanso mwachibadwa pamene adasinthika kukhala mkazi wathunthu komanso waluso mkati mwa ufulu wake. Mwinamwake chilakolako choyambirira cha kalonga wake ndi kukopeka kwake kunapereka mmalo ku ulemu wozama, ubwenzi ndi chidaliro zomwe zinapanga chomangira choterocho ndi chikondi chozama chenichenicho, kuti iwo anakhaladi mosangalala mpaka kalekale. Kodi sizotheka kuti chikondi chake, kuwolowa manja kwake, nzeru zake, nthabwala ndi chikhalidwe chenichenicho zinali zamtengo wapatali pamene zonse zinasinthika?
Ndikukhulupirira kuti izi zitha kukhala zochitika. Ndimayamikiradi kukopa kwa unyamata, kukongola ndi zokopa, koma si muyeso wanga wa umunthu. Zinthu izi mwina zingandisangalatse kwa mphindi khumi. Tsopano, sindikunena kuti anthu owoneka bwino ndi osayankhula kapena opanda kanthu, ngakhale izi nthawi zambiri zimakhala zongoyerekeza, sizolondola. Kukhala wowoneka bwino sikumapangitsa munthu kukhala wopusa monganso kukhala wamba kumapangitsa munthu kukhala wosangalatsa. Tiyeneranso kuvomereza kuti kukhala wolemera si chinthu chamtengo wapatali ngati munthu. Ndalama ndi zabwino ndipo zimatha kupangitsa moyo kukhala wosavuta pang’ono, koma sizimapangitsa amuna onse olemera kukhala amuna abwino komanso sizikutanthauza kuti kusowa chuma kumapangitsa mwamuna kukhala bwenzi lotsika.
Timangofunika kuthetsa ziyembekezo ndi ziweruzo zosayembekezereka zonsezi ndikufotokozera zomwe zili zoona kwa ife eni. Ndikosavuta kungokhala kwa mphindi imodzi kapena ziwiri ndikudzifunsa chifukwa chomwe mumakonda anthu omwe mukuwakonda. Ndikuganiza kuti mndandanda wanu ungakhale wofanana kwambiri ndi wanga; kukhulupirika, nthabwala, chifundo, kutentha, luntha ndi chilichonse chomwe chimandigwirizanitsa kapena kundilumikiza ndi munthu ameneyo. Ndikanakonda kukhala ndi mnyamata wonenepa woseketsa, wosangalatsa kumbuyo kwa chipindacho m’malo moyang’ana pa siteji yachimuna – ndizowona.
Ngati titha kumveketsa bwino zomwe tikufuna komanso zomwe tikufuna, ndiye kuti titha kumasula ndikukonzanso chinyengo chathu cha Cinderella.
Tsopano, apa ndi pamene zinthu zimakhala zosangalatsa kwambiri. Mabiliyoni ndi mabiliyoni a madola amasintha manja chifukwa chanzeru zotsatsa zomwe zimatengera chikhulupiriro chathu cha Cinderella. Mopambanitsa, akazi angakhale okhutiritsidwa kwambiri kuti kukongola ndiko kokha muyeso wa kudzidalira kotero kuti angadziwononge okha. Mukuganiza kuti ndikuseka? Anthu ofunda, odabwitsa, amtengo wapatali, anzeru, aluso adzichotsa okha pamasewera amoyo. Adzachita mwadala ndi mofunitsitsa ndipo ndikuuzani chifukwa chake.
Kutsuka ubongo. Ndizosavuta kuchita monga momwe tagulira kale mu chikhulupiriro cha princess tili ana. Kulimbikitsa lingaliro lakuti kukongola kumatipangitsa kukhala osangalala kapena kuti kupanda kukongola kumatipangitsa kukhala osafunidwa ndiyo njira yabwino yotsatsira. Kutsatsa kwamphamvu komanso kogwira mtima kumafuna kutanthauzira kosawoneka bwino, kosasintha komanso kokhudza mtima. Kulikonse kumene timayang’ana timawona zithunzithunzi za kukongola ndi unyamata akupindula, chikondi, chikondi, kugonana, chuma, kusilira, chitetezo ndi chisangalalo. Uthenga weniweniwo uli wosadziŵika kwambiri moti popanda kukongola, sitiri oyenerera ndiponso sitingathe kukhala ndi zinthu zimenezi.
Amuna nawonso amachitiridwa nkhanza, koma kudzidalira kwawo kumayenderana ndi ndalama, kupambana, mphamvu ndi kutchuka. Miyoyo ikuwonongeka kotheratu ndi chikhulupiriro mu BS iyi! Sizowona. Sizingakhale zomveka ndipo ndizomveka ngati tsiku, koma timazikhulupirirabe. Osati kokha ife timakhulupirira izo; timachilimbikitsa tokha. Zotsatira za malonda amtunduwu ndikuti anthu amadzichepetseratu mpaka kukhala opanda pake ndikuzimiririka mwa iwo okha. Chisonkhezero chomvetsa chisoni komanso chomvetsa chisoni chomwe chimayambitsa zonsezi ndi umbombo ndi kupanga ndalama. Ndipo tagula zonse; chikhulupiriro, yankho ndi mankhwala. Tinawalola kuti atiswe ndiyeno kutikonza ndipo tinalipira ndalama zambiri pamwaŵiwo.
Pezani izi – Dick wina wanzeru akupakira mtsuko wamatope, kuyiyika mumtsuko wa kristalo ndikupita pa TV ndikutitsimikizira kuti gunk iyi isalaza makwinya ndikukupatsani kumaliza kwaunyamata, kokopa. Mnzake, wachinyengo wamkulu komanso wofuna kutchuka sakhulupirira kuchuluka kwa ndalama zomwe zimalowa ndipo aganiza zongoikweza pang’ono. Ali ndi syringe yamatsenga yomwe imakupatsirani chiphe kumaso, imasokoneza mawonekedwe anu ndikuyitcha ‘mankhwala a tsinya ndi kumwetulira’. Ndizodabwitsa! Amapanga mtolo ndikulimbikitsa ena ambiri kuti abwere ndi mitundu yonse yamatsenga ndi zida.
Chabwino, palibe amene ali ndi malingaliro abwino amene angakhulupirire zachabechabezi!
Izi ziri pokhapokha zitabwerezedwa mobwerezabwereza. Ndicho chinthu cha kusokoneza ubongo; zimafunika kubwerezabwereza. Zimathandizanso kukhala ndi maumboni; timakonda kudziwa kuti ena ayesapo ndipo tikhoza kutsimikizira kuti imawathandiza. Anthu otchuka (chida china chotsatsa malonda) sakanavomereza zopanda pake ngati sizinali zoona angatero? Odziwika bwino (Chitsanzo cha mosangalala mpaka kalekale) amatiwonetsa zinsinsi zawo kuti apambane:
Matumba a silicone amalowetsedwa m’mawere
Mavacuum akuyamwa ntchafu
Daisy Bakha milomo
Acid khungu peels
Mphuno yapulasitiki, masaya ndi chibwano
Ndipo soka ndi kumangitsa nyini imeneyo!
Muyenera kuchita nthabwala – palibe amene angapusitsidwe kuti achite izi! Mabiliyoni a ndalama amanena kuti mukulakwitsa. Zomwe zimafunika ndikukutsimikizirani kuti simuli bwino, simuli oyenera, osakondedwa komanso kuti simudzakhala osangalala. Ndipo zimenezi n’zosavuta kutero chifukwa kuyambira pa chiyambi munasinthidwa maganizo kukhulupirira kuti chikondi n’cha ana, okongola ndi olemera okha. Mwinanso simukuzindikira izi, koma inu, inde, ndinu gawo lazabodza ndipo mukuvomereza ndikuzilimbikitsa.
Nsapato zanu zopusa za stiletto zomwe zapundula mapazi anu ndikufooketsa mawondo anu ndi akakolo ndi gawo lamasewera. The yo-yo dieting, binging ndi kuyeretsa. Zovala zanu zodula kwambiri, zonunkhiritsa ndi zodzoladzola zonse ndi gawo lomwe mumachita popititsa patsogolo ‘Nthano Yokongola’.
Tsopano osandilakwitsa apa, sindimatsutsana ndi anthu owoneka bwino. Ndikuvomereza kwathunthu kuti kuyang’ana bwino kungatipangitse kumva bwino. Ndikudziwanso kuti kuoneka bwino kumatha kukhala kokopa komanso kokopa. KOMA, Sizonse Zimenezo!
Ndi mabodza omwe ndimawona kuti ndi okhumudwitsa; utsiru ndi chionongeko chimene mabodza amenewo apitirizira. Sindikunena za zodzoladzola zophimba zipsera kapena kukulitsa kamvekedwe ka khungu, ndikunena zamakampani opanga zodzikongoletsera omwe amabisa kukongola kwenikweni. Ndikulankhula za The Cinderella complex; kutengapo gawo kwathu pakusunga zikhulupiriro zopanda pake ndi zowopsa izi. Akazi akupikisana ndi akazi anzawo pankhondo yachinyengo; kunyozera ndi kudziononga okha ndi alongo awo.
Izi ndi zomwe zimayambira: Tapangidwa malingaliro athu kuti tikhulupirire kuti unyamata ndi kukongola zimafanana ndi chimwemwe – zomwe zimamasulira chikondi ndi chitetezo. Ndiko kufunafuna konse kwa Cinderella. Tonsefe timafuna kukonda, kukondedwa ndi kudzimva kukhala osungika. Zomwe tonse takhala tikuzikhulupirira ndikuti chikondi ndi chitetezo zimapezeka kwa achinyamata, okongola kapena olemera okha.
Amuna sanathawenso; akuvutikanso ndi nkhani ya Prince Charming. Ndalama ndi chizindikiro cha mwamuna. Mamiliyoni aafupi, onenepa, a dazi, osuta ndudu omwe akuchucha tiana tating’ono tomwe tikuyembekezera – ndi zomvetsa chisoni bwanji kuwona! Koma mwachionekere winawake amakhulupirira zimenezo.
Ine sindikuyesera kuchepetsa chuma; kukhala ndi ndalama ndikwabwino, kwabwinoko kuposa kusakhala ndi kukongola. Mfundo yake ndi yakuti tavomereza kuti ndi muyezo wamtengo wapatali wa munthu. Choyipa kwambiri kuposa pamenepo, timadzilola kuti tiziweruzidwa ndikuweruza ena ndi gawo ili. Kodi si nthawi yoti tikhazikitse zitsanzo za kufunikira kwaumunthu mwa kukhala owona kwa ife? Kodi kukongola si chigoba chabe? Tonse tingochivundukula ndikuyang’ana zomwe zili mkatimo.
M’badwo uliwonse uli ndi kukongola kwake. M’zikhalidwe zambiri akulu ndi anthu anzeru komanso olemekezeka a m’deralo. Kapena mwachidule wokondedwa kwambiri ndi wolemekezeka. Kodi si nthawi yoti tonse tiyang’ane moyenera pamalingaliro awa ndikugwira ntchito yokonzanso ndikuwunikanso zomwe timakonda? Yakwana nthawi yoti Prince Charming awonetse kukhulupirika. Usikuuno pamene mukutentha phula miyendo yanu, ganizirani za ine; ndinadzipinda pachipinda chochezera nditavala zovala zogonera ndi ma Ugg boots, kuseka, kuyankhula komanso kukonda mkulu wanga. Heh, ine sindine Cinderella!
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