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Loves of Christmas Past: Classmates.com-Resurrection and Romance
Last summer I wrote an article for the Toronto Memory Archive for the Live in Culture project documenting my synchronicity with the Eaton Center. Back in the day when I was 17 years old (unofficial) a 20-year-old soldier at a popular shopping center caught my attention, Although we never spoke and I really liked shopping from afar. somehow brought him back into my life after ten years. With the holiday season upon us it got me thinking about the spirit of love from the old days of Christmas. My boyfriend and I were lamenting our lost youth when we happened upon an episode of DeGrassi: The Next Generation because we remember the original footage from 1986 when it was on! My point is that we were drawn to romance plots centered around the older characters Spike and Snake/Joey and Caitlin who were at DeGrassi Junior High and then DeGrassi High before the series ended in 1992. Never mind the juniors! We want to see the great “Jaitlin” have a happy ending!
There is something poignant about watching old movies of “Spake” and “Jaitlin” with their 80’s clothes, fresh faces, and youthful attitudes. Hard to believe that was half a lifetime ago now when you count the years since then. It’s going to blow me away how they used to look and I hope there will NOT be a revival of the series in another decade with them as grandparents! I saw a rerun of the old series with Joey walking down the hall of DeGrassi High in his bright neon 80’s clothes and fedora hat and my realization that it was 20 years ago triggered a sudden mid-life crisis. It’s no wonder classmates.com has become such a popular dating site!
What caused this issue? I was reading a few months ago about a study of a first love relationship after many years apart. Amazing…. Someone who knows you before often pulls your heartstrings again. Scientists say that this is due to imprinting and that the first love leaves a template for the rest. Dr. Classmates.com Relationship Expert Nancy Kalish confirms that it’s best to be single and available if you decide to hook up with your first love. The strong feelings awakened are because the love did not end, it was on pause, disturbed, and now conditions allow it to regain its strong place in the human heart. The first romantic reunion is like a Pandora’s box of romantic love, like a volcanic eruption after years of frozen feelings in suspended animation. So if this Christmas makes you feel like a member of Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band… take a Joyful Journey where you’ll probably be seeing your first love in all the famous places… Reminding You of them all the while. Classmates.com is a new evolution in demand; “Can’t we be children again?”
If you haven’t seen DeGrassi’s shows past and present, here’s a video of Joey Jeremiah and Caitlin Ryan from a fan that says it all: [http://www.zippyvideos.com/8457611766239996/goodbyemylover/]
GET THIS: YOU NEVER GET OVER your first love…. So keep their family numbers close or the name of a good PI.
Before I forget… This is my story from the Toronto Memory Archive: (For months after we broke up, I often wished we had grown up together, like Joey and Caitlin, or the way Craig and Manny’s characters are now in the show)
The Toronto Eaton Center was the first place I visited when I had just gotten off the plane from the West at 16. Although I had been warned about the number of youth gangs my first visit to the tourist attraction was like a kid in a candy store. I wanted to see every shop in the place. It was the first place I saw that spelled out for me what Toronto was and still is. Instead, it’s the fountain in the middle of the first floor near the entrance to the Queen Street subway where a lot of money has been thrown for various purposes over the years. Every part of the Toronto Eaton Center is a symbol of memory. By the way… many wishes came true in an amazing way.
I worked there at different times in my life, in different places, and then for two years as a communications consultant with the Ontario government. There is no shop or restaurant I haven’t been to. And yes, the closing of the Abacus restaurant, Coles Bookstore, Glamor Shots, the old house police, and other businesses that came and went made me feel like an old friend has given up. The day Indigo leaves the Eaton Center I will be very sad! How many hours can he spend drinking coffee and reading a good book while people watching from the sky.
When the Eaton Center was renovated in 2002 and the sign changed, it was as if the Toronto area had been updated to look better…but it felt like something was gone. The familiar is simple because it is familiar.
And about cravings…there were many afternoons as a teenager and college kid where I window shopped after treating myself to a Dairy Queen sundae (while walking the scale and looking at the eye candy for sale!)…the cops were circling. It was the riots that caught my eye. I didn’t know what his schedule was like, but every few weeks I was at the Eaton Center when he was working. One day during Lent, I threw money into the fountain so that maybe one day I would find out who it was. This admiration from afar lasted a year or so (probably longer but it was so unquantifiable that it’s easy to measure) and then I think it stopped. I forgot until 2004.
Did it really happen? Want to know who that guy was? Yes, almost 13 years later I’m 29 years old… and the boyfriend I always wanted as a teenager ended up stealing my heart as an adult. Be careful what you wish for, especially when you throw money into a fountain. You can forget what you want but someone else doesn’t. I’m glad he didn’t.
It was the magic touch that allowed for the real start of the decade and change that followed. The new Harry Potter movie had just opened in theaters. I called someone I know to see him on Tuesday. We arranged to see and meet near the Rainbow Theatre. When I got to dinner before the movie I saw my movie date talking to a man. He called my friend to come with us as soon as I did. After that we went for coffee at the Golden Griddle (now a Korean Bistro) and when I found out that the man worked in security I kept an eye on him. . I noticed that he seemed to know, but maybe yes, maybe not. Of course, I “didn’t hear” – even though he drove us home and we spent 4 hours talking outside my condo afterwards. He actually told me that he started his career at The Eaton Center but maybe it was too late and I didn’t connect with that. Besides, I had forgotten about the wishing well and his appearance had changed from a skinny youth to an adult, plus he wasn’t wearing a uniform.
How did I know that he is the boy I saw from a distance from one person? One afternoon after lunch I suddenly asked to see pictures of him in his youth and early 20s. The question just popped out. He showed me old albums and then a picture of him at the Eaton Center behind another football player. I looked closely at the picture and put it together. Did I say anything. No. Why? I was afraid that I would sound stupid and he still wouldn’t believe me. Did I ever say anything? No. Too much pride in the way of accepting fate.
When the security guy and I met I discovered a few interesting facts: We lived on the same street at the same time 10 years earlier – MacDonnell Ave, steps away. They patrolled several buildings, one for YTV, near Atlantic Ave when I was working at 99 Atlantic Ave in the late 90’s. I lived in the Annex on Palmerston Avenue and then Markham Street, they were on Manning three blocks southwest of all my places , around the same time in the early 90’s. When I moved to Yorkville in the early 2000’s he worked at a corporate office five minutes from my house. And the night we met in St. Lawrence Market….he was relocating back to another corporate office and only 5 minutes away every time. He said it was a disaster but at the time I would not agree either.
So how did it end? Well… my best friend Kelly said she had never seen me so happy until she saw me and her. My college friend Michael said the same thing. But alas…it was like the Blue Rodeo song “Bad Timing”. He had a past he didn’t let go of….and I had a future to follow. It ended in the August weekend of 2005 in Ashbridges Bay (where the beach reminded me of San Francisco) and one thing is true…. The saddest thing was that I didn’t lose one love in that relationship: I lost two – him and his son. ono who looked like him, with dimples.
A lesson for all young people (under 30) is: SEE HELLO. Don’t waste 10 years! Don’t be intimidated by the security guards at the Eaton Center… they’re good.
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