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A Kiss is Never "Just" A Kiss – The Fundamental Things Do Indeed Apply
I’ve been thinking… IT IS the word…
“Kiss is just a kiss….”?
Is it ALL that easy??
No more false words were ever spoken.
A kiss is a word. Kissing is a powerful form of communication. A kiss is an unspoken word that says exactly what you’re feeling without saying it. One should not underestimate the power of a kiss. It frees you, it makes you a prisoner, it fills you up, and it can leave you broken and longing for more. So you see, kissing is not just “kissing”.
Just take a look at some of the famous quotes about the art of kissing over the years. We are overwhelmed and enthralled by its power.
“Kiss: a secret told by mouth and not by ear.” Edmond Rostand
“The idea of the first kiss is the most important in any love story.” Emil Ludwig
“Kissing is a fun, natural way to stop talking when they get older.” Ingrid Bergman
“Kissing: there is no use for anyone, but it is worth two.” Robert Zwicky
“On the list of great inventions, kissing ranks higher than a Thermos bottle and an Airstream trailer…even higher than room service, perhaps the main reason that room service was created so that people can sit in bed and kiss without hunger.” Tom Robbins
“Few men know how to kiss well… luckily, I’ve had time to teach them.” Mae West
We write poems about it…sing songs about its power and effects. Games are given to it… A civilization rises or falls because of a well-placed kiss with the right or wrong person. We use kiss to seal promises… to express many things.
A kiss can mean a lot, or nothing at all. Remember when you were five years old and you thought kissing was fun? It was not until adolescence that the meaning of kissing was gradually revealed to us. Between laughs we agreed to our first kiss, our secret initiation into the “adult” world. No one talks about kissing anymore. Oh, we read about them in romance novels or see them on the big screen, but no one talks about them in whispers between embarrassment and laughter. We are adults. Kissing is strange to us now. Most of us kiss our friends without thinking at least once a day. But shouldn’t a kiss always be special?
What exactly IS a Kiss?
Kissing is more than sharing lips and breathing. It is a fusion of hearts and souls. A little shaking, a good feeling in the stomach, a racing heart, are to be expected. Kissing is an intimate connection with another person and an easy way to express love and affection. It is another way to confirm that our partner is “the one” and traditionally, the wedding vows are also sealed with a kiss. What is the best way to seal the promise of love? So what makes a good kiss? That is a difficult question to answer. There is no such thing as a bad kiss, but unfortunately, there are bad kissers. Each kiss is different, each message unique. There are as many different types of kisses as there are messages that a person wants to convey.
The long-awaited first kiss is what we all long for and dream about. And, whether we are remembered as sweet and sweet, shy and hesitant, or heads and noses bumping, we never forget. Kissing is a wonderful thing. We wonder when the thing we love will kiss us. We wonder if our knees will go weak, our pulse will race, or if it will be a dud. A lot depends on the kiss. We analyze everything we do with our partners like a scientist. He smiled at you as you walked. Does he love you? You went to watch a video with subtitles and they seemed to like you. Do they really like foreign movies or are they just trying to entertain you? Will they call you back? You go out on your second day. And then, somehow, you kiss. Your heart is flying. He loves you! Could this be love?
Only people have the privilege of knowing about a friendly kiss. Europeans have experienced it for many years. A gentle peck on the cheek, a soft wash of two people together, says, “Hey, I love you so much.” There is no stimulating question, no discussion of sex. It is pure, it is light. Even a kiss like this, is not a small thing. Allowing someone to enter your “space” to hold you, hug you… is not to be taken lightly.
“Bye, Honey. Have a nice day,” we say quickly on our lips as we get up in the morning to start our day at work. It’s part of the routine. Just one more thing to do on the way out the door. Often, after the dating days are over, couples tend to fall into a routine, which is not romantic. Kissing can communicate a lot. Love, compassion, passion, and devotion, just to name a few. It can also act as a relationship barometer. Kissing is part of the daily conversation that two people share. It can send sudden and frequent signals of love and affection. In the beginning, we kiss our friends a lot because we need the stimulation that kissing can bring. Once we are in a relationship, we need less motivation because we feel secure in our partner’s love. But, over time, there is a danger that couples will stop showing their love through kissing. The kiss begins to fade. You just kiss hello or goodbye or make love. The love between you, even though you love it, is not something you think about anymore. It’s right there. Sometimes they are spoken, sometimes not.
The Stolen Kiss
Like smiling, it can happen anytime and anywhere. This kiss starts in your stomach, reaches your heart, and ends in your mouth. Sitting in a dark stadium, waiting for a crowded bus, reading the Sunday paper – it just happens. You know what I’m talking about, the inexplicable desire to drop everything you’re doing and start fighting for love. It has happened to you, accept it. You are in your kitchen doing the dishes when your friend comes over for a cold drink. When you turn around, walk up to them and kiss them. Why? Because you can. For the most part, they are welcomed and appreciated.
Can’t wait to hear and touch each other. Your mouth and hands are busy, your heart is beating, and you can see flies flying. Love is a wonderful thing. It makes us feel alive, more connected to our loved ones. But, in reality, one cannot expect passion in every kiss. Kisses range from slow, sweet to fast, fierce. Also, it is unreasonable to expect conviction every day of our lives.
How many times in books, movies, and in real life has it been proven that a relationship based on passion alone cannot exist? Without a deep, emotional connection between two people, lasting love cannot succeed. And when I say lasting love, I mean one that can endure the hardships and challenges of everyday life. Factors such as compatibility, shared beliefs and goals, mutual respect, trust, and friendship should be considered alongside physical attraction. Desire that consumes itself ends.
Love dreams, cowards fear. It quickens your breath, it makes your heart race. This kiss inspires poetry and music. This kiss ignites jealousy and rage. This kiss is never satisfied. Whether by lovers or strangers, these kisses have only one message, “I want you.”
Passionate kissing requires commitment… and you listen.
1. Always remember that you and your loved ones are special together.
2. Be smart. Kiss your partner on the forehead, eyelids, cheeks, nose and chin, before kissing your partner on the mouth.
3. If you don’t like being kissed by your partner, gently tell them how you would like to be kissed. Well, show them.
4. Gently touch your partner’s hands, neck, or back while kissing. Make it more than just lip service.
5. If you don’t have time for a “real kiss”, make a verbal promise of “Later.” You and your partner will have something to look forward to and you will have restored the magic in your relationship.
Some Everyday Friendship Strategies:
1. Really listen to each other. Hear what is being said instead of making up your own mind or just hearing what you want to hear.
2. Be there for each other. Be a port in each other’s storms, even when you may disagree on the matter. Don’t turn on your partner or close the emotional door.
3. Hug each other…often. Even a small touch that lets someone know you’re thinking about them or making a promise in the future, it’s important to have that connection.
4. Go out on a “date” once a month. Maybe even recreate your first date. Be smart, be smart. Don’t take each other for granted or be too busy for each other.
5. Have dinner. Go all out. Have music, fine silver, china, wine, dress up (or not dress up). No TVs or cell phones are allowed. Get a babysitter if you need one.
6. Plan a special day together for both of you. It doesn’t matter what you do, just make it about you, not the group. Make plans, wait. Enjoy the day that has come.
7. Have a “How’s your love life?” to discuss. Ask your partner to rate their level of passion and intimacy on a scale of 1 to 10. Communication increases the level of satisfaction for both of you.
8. Write a love letter to your spouse. Make it a little unexpected. Stop your partner from saying things you don’t mean.
9. Agree to take turns falling in love with each other so that it is not for the same partner.
10. From time to time, plan your interests on the calendar in advance. Focus on your “selection” in the last few hours so that your passion and excitement have time to build.
Expectation is a wonderful thing…don’t take it for granted.
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