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More Than a Birthday – Women Turning 50 Celebrate

Something unexpected happened when I turned 50. Actually, it started last year when I started to feel that the big 50 was constantly approaching. I stopped caring about myself – not about myself – but rather differently. I started thinking about myself when I started caring about how I sound, how people see me, what people think of me. As I looked around at my girlfriends who were approaching their 50th birthday or who had long passed, I realized that we all had this feeling. What a surprise it was – instead of looking at my 50th birthday as a scary, ‘over the hill,’ event, I felt like it gave me a new freedom; the right not to take it too seriously. I don’t mean that I have been rude, inconsiderate or anything like that. I don’t worry about many things that used to worry me and I laugh a lot. Now, I’ve always been a confident, outspoken person, so what’s different? I have been wondering what this phenomenon is because this is a unique and wonderful experience that many women share.

One morning recently, I saw it clearly when I had a group of five women with whom I meet twice a year for breakfast. We were neighbors and traveling buddies from time to time, but over the years, schedules and moving to other areas made getting together easier. We keep up with our family stories and breakfast twice a year when we celebrate our birthdays. Something had changed and this last gathering together was different. Three of us just turned 50 and two are celebrating their 50th birthday this year. Our usual communication and conversation was different – it was irreverent and fun in a new way as if there was no subject that was not difficult to talk and laugh about. We exchanged birthday cards and gifts which made us laugh so much that some people in the restaurant couldn’t help but smile and wish they were in on the joke.

One of my friends mentioned the Red Hat Society for women 50 and over, which celebrates ‘doing your age’. This made me realize that the feelings I have are more than a personal experience and many women share them. My curiosity, fueled by my psychological upbringing, led me to think about this universal connection. I realized that when we turn 50, we are looking at our mortality and making a decision about how we want to feel and live the rest of our lives. Right now, we know what’s important, what’s important, what we need to think about and when we can laugh shamelessly at ourselves and each other. We have been doing all, or almost all, of the things we are supposed to do for 50 years and we will continue to (most of them) because these are the things we want in our lives. But now that we’re 50 years old — for the next 50 years let’s laugh louder and louder and make every day fun! After all, there is much to smile about.

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