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How to Stop Their Child From Crying in 30 Seconds Or Less
Have you ever been to a restaurant, and your child wanted what your other child got? Your other child wouldn’t share, and suddenly your 2-year-old started crying? No matter what you tried it would not calm down. What if you were working on something important, and suddenly your child started crying? The children fought over a toy, and one of them was crying himself. If you have ever felt this way, I am here to tell you that I have found the solution to your problem.
As a mother of 3, I have felt this way many times, and I always wished I could have a solution to quiet the child in 30 seconds or less. That way everyone can move forward, and I don’t need to stress, nor do they need to stress, or cry.
My first question to all parents is why do children cry? There are many reasons why a child cries. I will briefly list some of these reasons: hunger, fear, someone hurt them, they want something, or just trying to get attention. Have you ever been in a situation where you have a child 2-7 years old and something happens, and they start crying out loud? Crying uncontrollably? It was as if someone was trying to kidnap them, but nothing happened. For the child, it feels as if their world is falling apart. But most parents feel that ignoring the problem is the solution, but it is not. I have stated what some doctors have to say about it, after extensive research on crying children.”
“One study showed that infants who experienced persistent crying episodes were 10 times more likely to have ADHD as children, as well as poor school performance and antisocial behavior. babies.” (Wolke, D, et al, Persistent Infant Crying and Hyperactivity Problems in Middle Childhood, Pediatrics, 2002; 109:1054-1060.)
“Dr. Brazy at Duke University and Ludington-Hoe and colleagues at Case Western University have shown in 2 separate studies how prolonged crying in infants causes increased blood pressure in the brain, elevates stress hormones, prevents blood from draining from the brain, and decrease. oxygenation of the brain. They concluded that caregivers should respond to crying quickly, consistently, and comprehensively.” (J Pediatrics 1988 Brazy, J E. Mar 112 (3): 457-61. Duke University. Ludington-Hoe SM, Case Western U, Neonatal Network 2002 Mar; 21 (2): 29-36)
Because of all these factors and many others, I decided to find a solution to the problem that many parents face.
What is the new technique? Well, reading many books in this field, studying child psychology, and attending many seminars still sometimes does not equip you for what real life throws at you. In surprise one day, I told myself I had to know how to quiet these children quickly, and effectively. For me it is a stay at home school, and work at home. I couldn’t make them cry all day, if I taught the others, or if I started cleaning. But I don’t have time to sit with each person for 10-15 minutes at a time. That alone took up most of my time. That’s when I tested and tried my new strategy. I thought if it worked for me, than it could work on anyone. Are you ready?
Basically, anytime a child starts crying for whatever reason:
1. You take a deep breath and then bring them close to you, and then go through these exercises with them.
2. You show them how to take a deep breath. As they take one, take another, and then another. I usually take 4-5 deep breaths with them, and then I say ok, now we’re going to do it this way.
3. I start blowing faster and faster and laughing as I do it. They like this part the most. They blow and smile and laugh with me. It changed their whole attitude, and they no longer cried.
4. Once they calm down, then I sit them on my lap and ask them what happened. At this time, they smile and must use a normal tone, not a complaining tone to tell me what happened.
5. After they tell me, then I help them know what went wrong, and what they must not do again, get this kind of reaction. They agree, and finally it’s over. I break the pattern they are in, with a whole new pattern, which helps them calm down.
I have used this technique not only on my children, but also on my neighbor’s children, nieces and nephews. Their ages ranged from 2-7 years old. It worked every time for me. It just takes some patience, time and practice. You will see that eventually the children will do these techniques and other children will see them behave as they did. My son and daughter sometimes teach me these techniques if I’m sad and crying. It really works for adults as well as children. You just need 30 seconds to apply it, and then they’re on their way.
Once you can get your child to learn these new habits, you teach them that crying and complaining don’t really help them get what they want. If they want something, they need to ask for it kindly, and if it is something the parent thinks the child needs they will get it, if not, then they need to understand that the parent knows better. The more the parent can explain to the child, the better the child will understand. Sometimes it takes 10 – 20 times of repetition, but eventually it sinks in. It is also at this time, that I talk to the other child about how to treat this one. If there are two or three of them, then once this child is relaxed, I go over and tell the others, what they did was wrong, and that’s not how we should treat this situation. I then gave them an example of how I would handle this situation. In this way they know that there are many ways to deal with a situation. I want the children to put this in the memory bank of their brains, and use it when this or another similar situation arises.
A few more quotes about why crying is not good for a child continue
• “Letting a baby cry evokes physiological responses that increase stress hormones. Crying babies experience an increase in heart rate, body temperature and blood pressure. These reactions are likely to cause overheating and, along with vomiting due to extreme distress, can pose a potential risk for SIDS in vulnerable infants. There can also be long-term emotional effects. There is compelling evidence that increased levels of stress hormones can cause permanent changes in the stress response of the developing baby’s brain. These changes affect memory, attention. , and emotions, and can trigger an elevated response to stress throughout life, including a predisposition to later anxiety and depressive disorders.” Pinky McKay
Pinky McKay is a mother of five, an International Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) and a Certified Infant Massage Instructor.
• English psychotherapist, Sue Gerhardt, author of Why Love Matters: How Affection Shapes a Baby’s Brain, “explains that when a baby is angry, the hypothalamus produces cortisol. In normal amounts cortisol is good, but if a baby is exposed too long. or too often in stressful situations (such as being left to cry) his brain becomes flooded with cortisol and will either over- or under-produce cortisol whenever the child is exposed to stress. Too much cortisol is linked to depression and fear; too little to detachment emotionality and aggression.”
At this point I would like to go into a summary of how this all works:
• First, take a deep breath yourself.
• Then take the crying child and teach them how to breathe properly, tell them to follow you. Take about 4-5 deep breaths.
• Third, have them blow back for another 10 seconds. At this time, the child should laugh out loud with you.
• Fourth, now you have broken the pattern of crying in being happy.
• Ask what happened, and help them understand.
This is very important to break the pattern. Once the pattern is broken and something better takes its place then, it will not stay long when, you will notice they cry less and less. As they age they will realize that crying should be left for something really painful and not every two minutes. As parents and educators we need to teach them to learn there are different styles and ways of doing things. We need them to be able to help them calm themselves, and to form this habit as they grow up. To be confident, and handle any situation that comes to them with a different approach. This approach will reduce their stress and build their confidence. The less they cry, and the more they love, the more these children will have stability with their own emotions.
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