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My Husband Says He Wants His Old Life Back And Wants a Divorce
I recently heard from a woman who said she felt as if a wedge had been lifted from under her. She had only been married for a few years, but she and her husband had just bought a house and started trying to start a family. But then her husband sat her down and told her that he did not feel that married life “coordinated” with her. He said that he didn’t think he was meant to get married and maybe he wasn’t the right man for his wife. He told her that he was well suited and wanted his “old life back” where he didn’t have all these responsibilities. He assured the woman that he would find someone “older” suitable to raise the children.
Needless to say, the woman was very upset and very upset. And to be honest, he didn’t know where all this was coming from. The man seemed happy and devoted after bringing home and fixing up their family. And now he suddenly wanted a divorce because of his cold feet? It is true that the woman was very afraid of having a big house by herself, but more than that, she loved her husband. She wanted a future with him and she strongly believed that he wanted that too.
He wondered if there were signs he had missed or if he was only seeing things he wanted to see. And, it was hard to believe that a man could just say that marriage was not for him and walk away easily. He asked me what women do at this time. To be honest, the answer to this is as individual as the couples themselves. But since it was clear to me that he didn’t want to leave without doing everything he could to save the family, I told him some points that I was going to explain.
Sometimes, the Responsibilities of Being Married Intimidate Men. But With Plan, Space And Time, Things Can Be Better: I think the newlyweds were very happy. And, as they were getting ready to do big things like becoming homeowners and parents, they stepped in as well. The man must have been looking around and seeing how his life was very different from what it was before.
And this comparison must have made him nervous and uncomfortable. I’m not saying this is fair. The woman had also changed her life and was also worried but you did not see her running away. However, the truth was that the man had these feelings so instead of denying them or trying to magically erase them (which probably wasn’t the case,) the best decision was to deal with the problem at hand.
And I felt that the woman would have had more success if she had approached this from a place of understanding rather than a place of frustration. Yes, it was probably too tempting to let it slip that she was a baby and scared. And this description must have been correct. But, telling this to a man who is already struggling to be a responsible adult might not be the best call.
And sometimes, anxiety and fear with a man can be solved if you have patience and play this correctly. You want him to know that, as his wife, you want him to be happy. If this happened soon, everything would change. The idea is to change the situation and not the marriage.
How to Respond to Your Husband Saying He Wants His Old Life: The words were offensive to the woman. Because to be honest, when a man was single, he was immature and had no real goals. I told the woman that maybe she wasn’t saying that she wanted to be an irresponsible child. What he was saying was that he wanted time to enjoy his wife and friends before committing to being a father or just helping someone else.
This seemed selfish and immature to the woman and she was probably right about that. But, the undeniable truth was that this is how he felt, as his wife, he needed to respect this and open the discussion. Because I didn’t think it was impossible for them to get along. Nothing said that a woman couldn’t give a man too much careless time with him or his friends. And nothing said they couldn’t make the decision to delay adoption until they were both ready.
Yes, the woman did not want to wait to start a family. But, she had to admit that waiting and being with her husband was better than pushing hard and staying in her house alone. I told him to try to have an honest conversation with him about the matter so that he could understand what the man felt was so difficult. Once he knew exactly what was bothering him, he would be able to deal with things that made both of them happy.
I felt there was a happy medium somewhere. Yes, their marriage came quickly and suddenly they were married with debts and this made the man feel that he was under pressure. But there was also a lot of love between them and I suspected that if the woman just thought about that love instead of fighting and doing things on purpose at the right time, she could see things going well, which is what she wanted even if she did. he was angry.
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