The Old Man And The Sea And The American Dream Tour Guides I Have Known

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Tour Guides I Have Known

I am a writer at heart. I’ve written a crime thriller called “Nine Lives Too Many” and a suspenseful, contemporary story called “The Daemon in Our Dreams.” I have a new book coming out soon that is about rice queens. Most of my fiction is posted on my website – http://www.senneffhouse.com. Now I like to go back to my roots as a travel writer. Especially I like to travel writing with jokes interspersed. My book “The Daemon in Our Dreams” is basically a travelogue directed by many people.

Have you heard any great travel tips lately?

On the Alaska tour our female guide said, “We have a saying here in Alaska. There are nine men for every woman. The challenges are good, but the goods are amazing.”

But male leaders also fight in this gender war. One guy said he had a shirt made with the words: “Girls, remember when you go back to lower forty-eight, you’re going to be bad again.”

A male guide from Alaska the next day, “Here in Alaska men are men, and so are women.”

Every time I hit a new city on a road trip or a new port on a cruise ship, I travel with a guide. They are called cultural traditions when they stop at a museum instead of a handicraft market where the tour guide’s relatives work.

Leaders can tell jokes, spread, scapegoat, recite poetry, and tell magic tricks. They have a captive audience for a few hours, a day, or sometimes a week or more. For some reason the tour guides in Alaska are the best. Here are the descriptions of each type:

On Moorea, the island of Tahiti, our guide Ben said:

“This is a church where people of a certain religion worship, they come to my door two or three times a week with leaflets. .”

Alaska guides are full of stories about eagles and bears. A guide told us about a black bear that roamed the airport and landing area. He got on the baggage carousel and began to ride. They thought they would get rid of him by killing the horse. He screamed and acted dangerously so they just let him continue climbing until the game wardens caught him and took him away.

One leader told the story:

“Two bears, a male and a female, attacked and ate two men who were walking in the forest. One man was a Pole and the other a Czech man. The two bears were shot by hunters. Autopsies were carried out. Pole was found among the women so that they knew that the Czech was in a man.”

On the Princess cruise ship in Alaska when we were having martinis in the lounge, the pilot would come on “This is Captain Glug from the bridge. On the port side on the tallest tree, there are two bald eagles. About fifteen minutes later. he announced: “At the middle tree, also at the port, you will see two more bald eagles.”

Our bartender said, “I think the driver has a picture of two eagles stuck to his windshield. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees them in the trees.”

The ship’s entertainer imitates the pilot, “On the starboard side there are three killer whales, seven jumping rabbits, and three otters with calves floating on the ice. and there are two bald eagles that Princess Lines they pay to follow the train to Seward.”

Distributors can offer very different versions of the same product. In Bora Bora in French Polynesia the main abandoned Hyatt hotel is the only base on the beach. A local leader said that the reason the hotel was abandoned was due to the greed of the builders, lack of proper management, corruption and bribery.

Anthropologist Bill Kolan on Raiatea offered another version. Polynesians never leave their land. Relatives are often buried in the backyard which helps to ensure that the plot remains in the family. When the Hyatt developers found a site for their hotel, hundreds of Bora Borans came to speak about the property. Buying all of these would have been too expensive, so the project was abandoned.

During the French Polynesian voyages the anger against the Chinese shopkeepers was evident. “There is such a store. It is owned by China, and the shopping is expensive there.” The Chinese people who were first brought to Tahiti to work in the sugar plantations, continued to work in the plantations after they were finished. They gradually became a group of merchants and now have many banks and businesses.

A Tahitian leader said: “The French bake our bread, the Chinese give and sell, and the Tahitians pay.”

In Bora Bora, a tour guide became angry when a visitor asked him if he had ever eaten dogs. Paul Theroux in his book about Oceania found that some people on some islands ate dogs. He thought that was why the dogs on the island often looked so angry because they knew what was going to happen to them. Our guide said, “We can’t eat dogs.” They are our pets, our family members.

Then all of a sudden his thoughts changed and he said incorrectly, “Now America, another story. They are really delicious, especially fingers. We call them finger food.”

Captain Cook hundreds of years ago described in detail the eating of meat in the South Seas.

In Alaska the tour guides usually recite poetry at the end of the tour. His favorite is Robert Service, Kipling of the Yukon, and on many a bus tour just before the offering, you will hear “The Shooting of Dan McGrew,” “The Cremation of Sam McGee,” or “The Spell of the Yukon.” They are recited by heart. , and somehow the lines seem faster when you drive through a gold coast town like Skagway.

We took a train on the old railroad that followed the gold rush from Skagway through the mountains to the departure point for Dawson. In 1898 thousands of prospectors endured the terrible conditions, and thousands of pack animals perished. In a loud voice on the train, a female guide read a story written by Jack London that effectively explained how these animals fell or were thrown into the mountain passes.

At Skagwag our guide brought us to the old cemetery where Soapy Smith and Frank Reid were buried. Soapy Smith was the leader of the gang that terrorized the town during the Gold Rush days. Reid shot Soapy and there is an inscription on his grave that says he gave his life for the honor of Skagway. Near the grave of the happy woman. His tombstone reads: “Honored for the life of Skagway.”

In Hamburg, Germany, a tour guide said he was doing patriotic work. Near the famous red light district of the Reeperbahn, he pointed out some women who he said were prostitutes. “Good for them. They’re saving precious energy. They’re walking to work.”

I have met many great directors over the years, and have laughed with and learned from many of them.

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