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Is Your Cougar Net Empty? How to Write a Winning Online Profile
One of the challenges of trying to connect with people online is getting their attention. There is a lot of competition out there and the Cougars are selective. They know what they want, which means they know what they don’t want. If older men are no longer inspiring, then don’t fall at their feet. Cougars are looking for fun, excitement and someone who shows this in their profile will get answers.
When I read the history here and on other social media sites, I start to feel like I’m watching a rerun of the movie Ground Hog Day; you know…the one with Bill Murray where every morning he wakes up the day is exactly like the day before.
Every profile starts out looking and sounding the same. They all argue with each other. I read it. I click next. I read it. I click next. If nothing in the first line catches my eye, I press DELETE and go to the next one.
Did you read what I said? IF THERE IS NOTHING ON THE FIRST LINE THAT IS A WOMAN, THEY PRESS DELETE.
People are busy. We only have so much time to do so many things every day. If you don’t have access to feedback from your online profile, take some helpful tips and improve your profile. What do you have to lose? Oh, yeah… another lonely Saturday night…
1) Read many biographies of men and women.
Find out what makes you happy and why. Write some notes. Look carefully at the first line. This is your “signature” line that tells people why they should bother reading your entire profile. When you read women’s biographies, you begin to understand what they want and the language they speak.
2) Don’t underestimate yourself.
Don’t say, “Well, I’m the only one,” or “Wow. I don’t know what to write about these things,” or “Ask me if you want to know more.” It makes you look washy, lame and like you have a lot of insecurities. It also makes you look like you don’t know who you are. If you don’t know who you are, why should anyone care? If you are online, you are already in a public place. So don’t hide who you are and hope that someone will “realize” how magically special you are and hit you up for more information.
Instead, write something that plays to your strengths. “Chasing a young man with the desire to sweep you off your feet and onto the dance floor requires a romantic adventure, leading a successful woman into a lasting relationship.”
Get my drift? Light! Shine! Make us happy! Give us the ‘wow’ factor!
3) Don’t use abusive language.
Do not start your resume with the words “I am…”. “I’m beautiful, sexy, kind, honest, smart…” yeah, yeah…everyone does. Have you ever read a story that said, “I’m a loser, addicted to drugs, unemployed and sleeping on my mom’s couch?”
Tell us about yourself and what makes you different from everyone else. “One of my passions is rescuing animals and this summer our group is doing the Basset Hound Olympics to raise money for their pets.” Well, doesn’t that tell someone how kind you are and how much you love doing charity work? Say it straight. Actions speak louder than words.
Avoid “I like to work hard and play hard,” or “I’m as comfortable in a dress as I am in jeans and a T-shirt.” How often do you see that word? “I like to eat well.” (Who doesn’t?) (And that means…?) and for God’s sake, aren’t we all sick of the “I love long walks on the beach” and the ad nauseam, “it’s that special someone.” (Excuse me while I look.)
4) Be assertive
Stand up. Say an idea. This way you will appear like a person to others and you will attract people who share your thoughts and interests. “My idea of a good first date is microwaving crayons in the shape of famous historical figures and then discussing socialism over a nice glass of port,” makes more sense than “I like to do silly things and discuss the events of the day.”
People like to meet people they know. It shows that you have something to bring to the table and that you can move on from the date or the relationship.
5) Write a good, clear picture of yourself.
Smile. Don’t post a great shot because you think it makes you look good. It makes us wonder if you just got out of jail. Do not wear glasses. Don’t try to look good or do good. Looking friendly, happy, approachable and fun! Do not display terrorist symbols or peace signs or flip the bird. Leave the penis in your pants. We’ve seen them before and not everything is a bag of chips.
Post a few photos, preferably of you doing fun things we’d love to do with you. Don’t post a pic of you and your ex. Don’t post a picture with you and half of your ex cropped out of the pic. Ladies, believe it or not, not every man likes to see us with our dogs. *Sigh* Then merge your image with Bonster, but add other images as well. If a guy doesn’t own pets or loves his 23 cats, he’ll probably pass you by with a fido.
6) Your screen name says a lot about who you are and what you’re looking for.
If your screen name is “Young and Hungry” or “Lick My Secrets” we know you’re looking for chase calls and not a competitor for anything more than a one night stand and maybe you’re hoping we’ll drive you around and grab a pizza. in passing. We also know that you probably have a different girl every night, a little disease that is swinging with an ax in the hall room. DELETE.
7) Be honest and sincere about what you are and what you are looking for.
Be honest about your age, weight, height. Don’t post photos that are more than a year old or with purple hair if you just dyed it tomato red. When people see your picture and plan to meet you they are expecting to meet the person they see in the picture. Everything else is deceptive and disappointing. Do not post a group photo. We do not know who you are and we do not want to meet this group. We want to meet you.
Don’t be looking for a long term relationship if you really want friends with benefits. One reason I have so many options to choose from is that people can connect with people who are looking for the same things. If you are married, separated, divorced and a little weak and just want to test the waters then say so. “I’ve just been out for a long time and I just want to meet new people to have fun and talk and see how it goes for a while before I think about anything else.” People appreciate honesty and transparency. It shows that you respect them and it shows that you have integrity about yourself.
8) Tell us who you are.
If you want to get someone’s attention, you need to put something on the mouse before you cast your line. No fish in the world will bite a white hook. Few people will respond to a profile that has nothing or very little information. Why is it that the next page they click on has more information to read and interact with?
Talk about your hobbies and interests and show your interest: “I like to fly in space” is a knowledge, but, “There is nothing like escaping naked to get the adrenaline flowing. for an hour while grandma is pointing at me with her telescope that is going spiritually forward,” gives us a clear picture of your feelings about it.
9) Tell us what you do professionally.
Why is this important? Because it helps us visualize you at work doing what you do during the day and it helps us connect with the image and with you. It also defines who you are and helps us determine whether we want to contact you. If you are a meat consumer and the woman reading your profile is a PETA member and a vegetarian then why waste time emailing and chatting and then meeting if she knows in her heart that this is not going to work?
You can say, “I’m a student” or you can say, “I’m in my third year of college studying marine biology. You’ve never seen anything in life until you’ve looked at two starfish. This is a very life-affirming thing. On Earth. After school, my goal is to own a seafood farm in a small town in the Delta and ship the fish to Dubai.”
Oh. I’m here…
10) Be open minded. Be friendly. Be approachable. Be interesting.
Be the person someone would want to get to know. And express who you are through writing. History is written. Not everyone is a good writer, but this is how you sell yourself. It’s a way to see. If you’re not good at writing but can express yourself verbally, then upload a 60 second video of yourself telling everyone who you are and what you’re looking for. The video should be short. The famous Canadian film director, Mack Sennett, said don’t worry about 90 seconds. The audience will lose interest.
Be polite. Think about what you write before you write it. “I like women with big asses,” doesn’t appeal to every woman, even if she has a big ass. Don’t be rude. Profanity is bad. Luck skeeves women.
A well-thought-out and well-organized profile with good photos will help you get noticed. If it is obvious that you have not visited on your profile, then those who see will only think that you are a football player and not much to look to meet anyone and click. If you don’t take the time to fill out your profile, then why should anyone take the time to respond? No one wants a blank answer or a profile that says, “I’ll tell you later.” It’s like saying, “I have a secret and if I think you’re worthy I’ll share it with you.” (Looking again.) CONCLUSIONS.
Write all the sentences. If your language skills are not good, ask someone else to help you express your thoughts in writing. If you can’t communicate who you are and what you’re looking for then you won’t please anyone.
You have to remember that there are millions of profiles on many social networking sites. You are competing with all the other profiles on the internet. You have to see yourself as a product and pay for the marketing campaign to get results. If you were to market yourself and you had to make 60 second posts, what would you say? What would your lead line be? You need a compelling, well-thought-out beginning, an informative and entertaining middle and a “close” to finish.
The goal is to find answers. Once you receive the answers, you can choose who you want to continue communicating with.
The bottom line is this: If you’re not getting answers online, it’s because your profile is good. Even a profile without a picture will get a response if it is written well and compels someone to want to know more. Your profile is your calling card. It’s your business. It’s your online presence. If it says nothing, it gives nothing, then it gets nothing. And there is nothing you can expect.
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