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How To Stop Worrying And Start Living By Dale Carnegie

INTRODUCTION

In the early days, Dale Carnegie (November 24, 1888 – November 1, 1955) earned money by teaching large classes in night schools in New York. He realized that one of the biggest problems of these adults was anxiety. He wrote his book by reading what philosophers of all ages had to say about anxiety. He also read hundreds of biographies, from Confucius to Churchill. According to him, we will not find anything new in his book, but we will find many things that are not used in our daily life.

CONTENTS

Carnegie wrote his book in eight parts. Let’s go through all of them and for the purpose of this article, I will share one story taken from each Section.

PART 1: The main things you need to know about anxiety

In this case, it was given a sub-title like “Sit in a room with daylight”. Just live each day until bedtime.

It was about a housewife in Michigan whose husband died of an illness. He was very depressed and almost penniless. He then wrote to his former boss and got him back to work selling World Books to rural and urban school boards. He thought that getting back on the road would help relieve the depression; but driving alone and eating alone was too close for him to take. He found that the schools were poor and the roads were bad. It seemed that victory was impossible.

Then one day he read an article that inspired him a lot and gave him courage to continue living. There was an inspirational quote that said: “Every day is a new life for a wise man”. He wrote them down and put them on the windshield of his car where he saw them every minute he drove. From then on, he said to himself, “Today is a new life”.

He had succeeded in overcoming his fear of loneliness, and his fear of need. He was happy and successful at the time and had a passion and love for life. Then he knew that he could live one day.

PART II: Basic techniques for stress assessment

This was for the insurance man. When he started selling insurance, he was filled with boundless passion and love for his job. Then something happened. He was so disappointed that he despised his job and decided to quit. Then one Saturday morning, he sat down and tried to figure out what was causing his anxiety. He began to ask himself the following questions:

What was the problem?

He wasn’t making much profit because of the number of calls he made.

What was the problem?

He was successful in selling hope, until it was time to close the sale. Then the buyer would say, “Okay, I’ll think about it, Mr. Come and see me again”. He wasted time on the next call that caused his frustration.

How was everything?

He looked at his record book for the past twelve months and read the statistics carefully. He discovered amazing things! He found that 70% of his sales were closed on the first inquiry! Another 23% of his sales were closed on the second interview. And another 7% were closed on the third, fourth, fifth, and other questions. He came to realize that he was spending half of his working day on a part of his business that accounted for only seven percent of his sales!

What was the best answer?

He made a quick decision to immediately reduce all visits beyond the second interview, and have more time to develop new prospects.

PART THREE: How to Break the Worrying Habit Before It Breaks You

This part of the book asks us to use the Law of Averages to get rid of our worries.

One summer, a family went camping in the Touquin Valley of the Canadian Rockies, about 7,000 feet above sea level. One night, a strong wind threatened to blow down their tent. The outer tent shook and shook and screamed and shouted in the wind. The woman was very frightened, and expected every moment to see their tent torn up and thrown into the air.

However, her husband went on to say: “Look, my dear, we’re going with the Brewsters’ guides.” They know what they are doing. They have been pitching tents in these mountains for sixty years. it hasn’t exploded yet, and, by middle law, it won’t explode tonight, and even if it does, we can hide in another tent. I slept soundly at night.

We must ask ourselves: “What is the probability, according to the law of averages, that the particular event we are concerned about will occur?”

PART IV: Ways to Cultivate the Heart of Mind That Will Bring You Peace and Happiness

We must understand this important commandment: Instead of worrying about unthankfulness, we should expect it.

A Texas businessman was upset because 34 of his employees didn’t say “Thank you” to him after they each received a $300 bonus for Christmas.

According to Carnegie, instead of feeling angry and feeling sorry for himself, the person should have asked himself why he was not appreciated. Perhaps they were underpaid and overutilized. Perhaps they felt that the Christmas bonus was not a gift, but something they had earned. Perhaps he was so critical and unapproachable that no one dared or cared to thank him. Maybe they felt that they gave a bonus because most of the profits were going to taxes, anyway.

On the other hand, the workers may have been selfish, cruel, and ill-mannered. It could be this or that. According to Carnegie, this man made the human and tragic mistake of expecting gratitude. He did not know human nature.

PART V: The Perfect Way to Overcome Anxiety

Carnegie wrote in his book that one day when his father came from Maryville, where the banker threatened to repay the loan, he stopped his horses at the bridge crossing the river, got out of the wagon, and stood for a long time looking down. water, arguing with himself if he should jump and end it all.

A few years later, Carnegie Sr. he told him that the only reason he didn’t jump was because of his mother’s deep, stable, and happy faith that if we love God and keep His commandments, everything will be fine. Mom was right. It all worked out in the end. Father lived forty-two long happy years, and died in 1941, at the age of eighty-nine.

PART 6: How to Avoid Complaining and Condemnation

A national sensation in academic circles was created by an event that took place in 1929. Educated men and women from all over America rushed to Chicago to witness the event. A few years earlier, a young man named Robert Hutchins worked at Yale as a waiter, lumberjack, teacher, and clothing salesman. Now, just eight years later, he was being installed as the president of the fourth richest university in America, the University of Chicago. He was only thirty years old. Amazing! Criticism came pouring down on this “wonderful boy” like a rock slide. Even the newspapers participated in the attack.

On the day of his inauguration, a friend said to the father of Robert Maynard Hutchins, “I was surprised this morning to read a newspaper editorial criticizing your son”.

“Yes,” the old man answered Hutchins, “it was difficult, but we must remember that no one kicks a dead dog”.

Yes, and the more important a dog is, the more satisfied people are to push it.

Carnegie added that when you are hit or criticized, remember that it is often done because it gives the thrower a sense of worth. It usually means that you are achieving something and it is worth considering. Most people take great pleasure in criticizing people who are more educated than themselves or who are more successful.

PART VII: 6 Ways to Avoid Tiredness and Complaining and Keep Your Energy and Spirits Up

Dale Carnegie listed the following six strategies in his book:

Rest before you are tired; Learn to relax in your work; Learn to relax at home; Establish good work habits (remove all papers from your desk except those related to the problem at hand; act on the basis of the need; when faced with a problem, solve it only occasionally if you have important facts to make a decision; and learn to organize, delegate, and monitoring); To avoid stress and fatigue, focus on your work; and Remember that no one was killed because of lack of sleep. It’s the anxiety and insomnia that is damaging – not the insomnia itself. If you can’t sleep, get up and work or read until you feel sleepy.

PART VIII: “How I Overcame Anxiety”

In the last part of the book, Carnegie wrote 31 true stories. In this review, I will choose one story, entitled “I lived in the Garden of Allah”. It was about an English gentleman from a wealthy family in Britain. After leaving the British Army in the early 1900s, he went to northwest Africa and lived with the Arabs in the Sahara, the Garden of Allah.

He lived there for seven years, learned to speak the language of the nomads, wore their clothes, ate their food and adopted their way of life, which has changed very little in the last few centuries. He also researched in detail about the Islamic religion and later wrote a book about Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) called “The Prophet”.

He noticed that the nomads lead a calm life and do not rush or become unduly angry when things go wrong. They know that what was posted was posted; And no one can change anything but God. However, this does not mean that when faced with a disaster, they sit back and do nothing. This is shown below.

One day there was a terrible sirocco storm in the Sahara. It cried and screamed for three days and nights. It was so powerful, so dangerous, that it blew sand from the Sahara hundreds of kilometers across the Mediterranean Sea and scattered it in the Rhone Valley in France. But the Arabs did not complain. They shrugged their shoulders and said, “Mektoub!” which means “Written”.

But as soon as the storm was over, he went up and killed all the lambs because he knew they would die. After killing the lambs, the animals were taken to the south to drink water. All this was done calmly, without complaining or lamenting or crying over their losses. The chief of the tribe said: “It was not too bad. We could lose everything. But to God, we have forty percent of our sheep left to start again.”

A few years after he left the Sahara – he kept on leaving the interesting work to what he had learned from the Arabs. That wisdom has done more to calm the mind than a thousand cures.

FINAL WORDS

In our daily life, when dealing with anxiety, I believe in the principle “Don’t worry about what others think, say and do”.

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