Story About Watching My Girlfriend Cheat With A Old Man An Alternative to Wife Swapping – Double Dating For Adults

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An Alternative to Wife Swapping – Double Dating For Adults

Okay, so you love your kids. They’re not too bad once you get used to them. Maybe once in a while when you’re lost in the background, you manage to trick a seven-year-old into doing a job for you. Your five-year-old sometimes remembers feeding the dog, and watching reruns of iCarly gives you a chance to relive the childhood you never had.

But let’s face it. Time is short, it’s only Tuesday, you don’t feel appreciated, and your kids are driving you around. What should a traditional family do? Go to Dodge.

Take a moment to ponder that thought. You work hard to pay off the $250k in student loan debt that everyone has said you’d be a fool not to take on. You have not heard the smell of joint marijuana since that escape behind the Tri-Delt sorority house in 1989. You keep buying Bud Light to pinch 1 cock just in case one of the little angels needs a big job orthodonture before they hit the little big one. For all that is supposed to be good in the world, it’s time to give yourself a bender. I’m not talking about casual flirtation with the dark side, but complete immersion in the decadence that being an adult should be.

Now, like dropping acid, you don’t want to do this alone. Get on the horn and mingle with the poor people who are in the same boat as you. The best results come from jumping on the back of a moped and finishing who-knows-where, but if you have trouble thinking outside the box, here’s my list of the best trips that can happen if you just let the flag fly.

#1- Road Trip

Remember when you were 18 and drove your 14-year-old girlfriend across state lines to West Virginia for a short drive? Saddle up, my friend- it’s time to ditch the GPS and head south. Or North. Or your inner movements—Rasputin advises. Leaving your comfort zone minimizes annoying requests- ‘You’ve been there before. Is cooked venison good?’

#2- Do You Really Eat That?

The world is a delicious food just waiting to be dropped on your plate, and rumor has it that there are places that offer the kind of food that is only read about in National Geographic. Hot crabs. Asparagus and hollandaise. Corn fritters- each given town has a hidden restaurant that will test your mettle. Walk the streets on the outskirts of town to find signs not written in English where empty tables can be seen through the windows. This my friend is where you want to eat, and you will tire people for years to come with your stories about nan bread and tabouli that taste like goat food.

#3- Don’t Be Stupid

Seriously. I encourage you not to act like a camel’s skin. This is a very inclusive event if done right, and alienating others in your party is not acceptable.

#4- Tag, Desecrating Private Property

For this, everyone should wear matching gray hoodies and black jeans. Who cares if you bought them at Old Navy? Next, shop your local paint store (always shop there like big box stores and the devil incarnate), or rummage through your dad’s garage for different types of spray paint. Once you’re well dressed, find a blank wall where your unconventional knowledge can be displayed. Enjoy a quiet game of ‘Narc on the neighborhood,’ with the words, “Bob Johnson cheats on taxes,” or, ‘My **** is bigger than yours.’ The winner is chosen by the police finishers

#5- Build a Treefort

I know, it sounds silly, but you have to look at the big picture. Where should it go? Is there enough room to play hide the salami? What can you do to pay off your home loan? Are the windows spaced well enough for the bottle rockets to aim well?

#6- Drama

Skip the fighters and damsels in distress, and head straight for the avant garde art vending area. Start by drawing your faces, outline them with accent markers, and voila! Any person can choose a corner in town to set up shop. At the end of one hour, the one who has made the most money without getting arrested wins!

#7- Don’t Drink and Drive

This little point goes hand in hand with #3, since you don’t want to be a schmuck. However, calling a cab at the end of a problem is not what true winners do- instead, find an unlocked car with a big backseat or two (preferably not someone you know) where everyone can sleep. turn it off. The idea behind planning a passenger car is this – your focus is off, and you’ll lose it at 4 o’clock in the morning before you know how to open the door. You wouldn’t want to explain that to your partner, would you?

Take the time to plan a fun outing with your friends soon- you deserve it.

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