How To Handle A Temper Tantrums In 4 Year Olds Parenting Tips: Mastering the Teen Years

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Parenting Tips: Mastering the Teen Years

I guess one of the nicest things that can be said about being a teenager is that it is an art, just like anything else.

There doesn’t seem to be an instruction booklet or even one

owner’s manual. Most of the teenagers I work with feel like they’re sort of making it up as they go along. So there are many unanswered questions.

Who am I?

Who will I be?

Who will I model myself after?

There don’t seem to be many useful choices, and it gets frustrating and confusing at times.

Then there is this whole issue of self-esteem. How are teenagers (or adults for that matter) supposed to feel about themselves when the standard set for them is unrealistic perfection.

What I believe is happening is that children experience the great gulf between “reality TV” and “real reality,” and they feel very inadequate.

Parenting a teenager can also be considered an art, a difficult one at times.

Many intelligent, successful parents become completely stuck and impotent when it comes to dealing with their 16-year-old.

As one parent told me, “I can make the governor listen to me, but I can’t make my daughter make her bed.”

16 goes to 26 and 16 goes to 6

Most 16-year-olds I know are simply 16 going on 26 and 16 going on 6, all at the same time.

Parents struggle with who they are dealing with at any given moment: the 6-year-old, the 16-year-old, or the 26-year-old. It is important to remember that they are dealing with a rapidly changing model.

By now many people are familiar with the term “dysfunctional family”. I’m not convinced that this is always a helpful or useful term.. Many families I work with are simply “stuck” – stuck on certain issues or developmental stages.

Remember the last time you got your car stuck in mud or sand? The more you tried to get out, the more you spun your wheels and got stuck deeper and deeper.

I think families sometimes work that way too. Good advice is simply to help a family get “unlocked” by improving existing strengths and developing others, to get them back on track and on their way.

It can be as simple as that.

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