How To Get A 4 Month Old To Self Soothe Approval Seeking: Can Someone’s Wounded Inner Child Cause Them To Be An Approval Seeker?

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Approval Seeking: Can Someone’s Wounded Inner Child Cause Them To Be An Approval Seeker?

It could be said that there are at least two types of people; those who rarely seek approval and those who seek a lot of approval. When a person enters the first category, it will be possible to live their own life.

The reason for this is that they will not need the all-clear or receive permission before doing something. So, if they have a need to do something, they will be able to follow through with that need.

The ideal

Finally, they will be free to express themselves, and this will allow them to live a life worth living. This could be how they have been for as long as they can remember or, perhaps, it took them a while to get to this point.

Either way, they will be able to make the most of their time on this earth. However, although this will be the best way to experience life, there are many people who cannot relate to it.

A Very Different Life

For such a person, just about everything they do will be a way to receive approval from others. As a result, it will not be possible for them to live their own lives.

They will live a life that matches, and what they think matches, what other people want. Therefore, even if they seem to be happy, this will be nothing more than an act.

Why is that?

For a person to be truly happy, he will need to stay in touch with his own self and life to be an expression of it. By focusing on others and what will please them, they will not be able to express themselves.

Or, if they express who they are, it is likely to be the exception as opposed to the rule. Who they really are, then, will rarely if ever see the light of day, and this will create a lot of pain.

A battle

Still, this does not mean that they will ever come in contact with this pain, because of the way they behave. Thanks to the approval they get, they will be able to experience ‘positive’ feelings and, therefore, keep this pain at bay.

Also, this whole process is likely to take place without even being aware of what is happening. Ergo, it is not that they are looking for conscience for approval; this is something that is taking place just outside of their conscious awareness.

A wake up call

In order for them not to behave in this way again, it will be necessary for them to become aware of what is happening. This insight will need something that leaves an indelible mark on them and doesn’t just leave their consciousness soon after.

Once they reach this point, it will allow them to reflect on their lives and see that behaving in this way does not serve their greater good. From here, they will be able to do something about what is happening.

The next step

If they get to that point and end up reaching out for support, they may come to believe that they are behaving in this way because they have ‘low self-esteem’. Considering this, the key will be to develop this part of them, and this could be seen as something that will primarily take place by changing their thoughts and behavior.

By taking a step into what’s going on in their head, by ‘getting inside’, it will allow them to have an idea of ​​how they talk to themselves. From here, they will be able to replace their ‘negative’ thoughts with ‘positive’ thoughts.

A Process

Through having different thoughts, they will be able to feel better and behave differently. This will come down to the fact that their thoughts will be seen as being in control of how they feel.

As the weeks and months go by, they may find that they spend less time trying to seek approval and more time expressing themselves. Then again, this approach might not last or it simply might not work.

A Closer Look

If this approach does not have the desired effect, it could be said that it is not much of a surprise. There’s a good chance that their need for approval had very little to do with what’s going on above and a lot to do with what’s going on below, so to speak.

In other words, their need for approval is likely to be a sign that their emotional body is not in a good way. This part of them will also be where their inner child will be found.

A time to listen

Now a person might be completely out of touch with their inner child, but this part of them will still have a massive impact on their life. All this time, the inner needs of children are merging with the needs of adults, which prevents them from seeing what is happening.

This childish part of them will carry all the needs that were not met during their childhood years. Many, many years have passed since they were children, but these needs remain with them and, until they are recognized, they will continue to do so.

A different outlook

What this means is that while they may be seen as having a strong need for approval and this may be seen as something ‘negative’, it would be more accurate to say that the child part inside them is looking for the love and. nourishment that he did not receive all those years ago. For this part of them, approval, acceptance, attention and validation will be seen as love.

With this understanding in place, one will be able to get in touch with that part of themselves and grieve the unmet needs of children. Without it, it will be normal for them to judge themselves and try to change the effects of what is happening.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to get external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or nurse.

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