How To Get 4 Month Old To Take Longer Naps What Mums Deal With – a Dad’s Perspective

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What Mums Deal With – a Dad’s Perspective

My life has always been good; at least since I met the beautiful woman I am proud to call my wife. The work has become easy for me, and I am lucky enough to earn well to do what I love. It was like this for many years until; Recently, I joined the ranks of the unemployed. It was a bitter shock and a realization that life is not always easy as I began to believe, but as life would have it, instead of being the worst time of my life, it was one of the best – a real one. Shock in the system – no doubt, but still one of the best. I would like to share some of these experiences with you, you see, I have 4 children under the age of 5 (no twins here!) and getting a chance to see my family without the hindrance of work has changed my perspective on life.

I became unemployed about 4 weeks ago. Earning a decent income meant my wife could stay at home (which is lucky because she told me she would never work again when we got married!), but it also meant that, like most people , we lived just a little higher. our means. This is great while the income lasts, but once it dries up, you start to realize how much money you need on a monthly basis just to pay the bills! This is when reality hits home and you become more than a little nervous.

However, I received a good payment and we calculated that, with our savings, we should be OK for 6-8 weeks. As luck would have it, I was soon offered a job starting in a little more than a week’s time, so I could do something I always wanted to do. I could really enjoy my family.

Those first days were hard for me. Our oldest boy (4.5 years old) just started school and that means that the next boy (at 2.5 years old) just lost his favorite friend. It’s strange, but on weekends, I never really understood what a great babysitter an older brother can be. It sure didn’t take long to figure it out though!

Little 2.5 and his sister (1.5 years) all of a sudden needed a new playmate. Someone who could tell them what to do, teach them how to play and generally entertain them. Attention…I didn’t know it would be like this? I think my wife was making the most of the situation by having an extra pair of hands around, and so I was put on diaper duty – 5 dirty diapers just during school time? And the youngest (4 months), just seems to have a talent to get more ‘things’ out of his diaper and up his back than the laws of physics would seem to allow! That’s just wrong??? Is it? Everyday? My wife looked at me with amused sympathy. He confirmed that yes it was every day, but he thought it would improve the next week.

So the first few weeks were spent worrying about when the cash would start flowing again AND trying to remember how to play dominoes, or teaching a very enthusiastic girl how to play with Matchbox machines while the 2.5 boy served tea of seven was the girl. . Was it just me or did the world get screwed up somewhere along the line?

Oh, and how could I forget to mention, little 2.5 got his last tooth (molars), little 1.5 got eye teeth, molars and others, and little 4 months just started on the ‘tooth journey’? You can’t imagine the noise of 3 children all crying at the same time from the pain of cutting teeth!!! Give me a train or busy mall – PLEASE!

Somehow I survived. I waited for the end of school when my ‘babysitter’ came home and took care of most of the other children’s time, but that was still left to change, feed, shower, read books and toys that all 3 children played with little 4 months. watching I was really tired every night.

I look back as I write these words and ask myself why was it like this? My wife was there too. Does it do nothing? Then I remember, it’s right – she was breastfeeding, doing laundry, ironing, cleaning, shopping, running the kids and normal things a mom does! But if you are both completely busy… how does that work? He usually does all this on his own! Isn’t it true?

Wow. Talk about a new respect for the role of a mother.

Not only has she managed to do this on her own all these years, but she has raised children who are just wonderful. They are curious, polite, well behaved and have good manners. You might think I’m just biased, but we get this kind of feedback a lot.

My wife really does an amazing job. I know I help, but it’s nothing compared to what he achieves every day.

By the end of the week, my previous way of life forgotten, I began to relax a little. My phone rings very rarely and I progress job opportunities when they present themselves. At the beginning of the week I felt my phone wasn’t ringing enough, but by the end of the week, I didn’t really notice anymore.

OK, although now almost immune to the stench of a very full diaper, I was really waiting for the second week when my wife was happily telling me that the frequency of dirty diapers would drop. At the time I never really thought of how it would work, I just took his word for it. I keep forgetting how silly I can be.

My wonderful wife decided that, seeing how I was at home and able to help out, she would like to take advantage of the opportunity to start the toilet train little 2.5. About this time I began to see the potential problem here! We delayed his potty training because we just moved into a new house, had another baby, went away for Christmas and had his big brother start school. Now seemed like an obvious time to start (for my wife anyway!).

Day 1 was pretty good. He already had a good idea of ​​when he needed to use the bathroom and the day was very successful. It was one accident when he fell asleep on the floor before we could find a diaper on him for his nap, but all in all we were very happy. I was doubly happy because all my worries turned out to be completely unfounded.

Day 2, I was quite enthusiastic about it because I had only changed 4 dirty diapers the day before, and any reduction in that number was a relief. The only problem is that now little 1.5 decided to start removing her diapers too as she was a big girl and she didn’t need them either. Unfortunately, she is a girl and the toilet, even with a seat for children is way to big … but her brother did not use a potty, so why should he?

What a disaster.

Accidents everywhere. In my office (!), on the bathroom, in the kitchen, on my lap. Well, they were only number 1, but it’s just not nice to be the one to discover it walking barefoot in the refrigerator! I swear he would do it on purpose too. It was like a pitcher of water on their lap, but one that never ends. I think I counted 4 in an hour at one stage. There is nothing you have to deal with like this in the office. My biggest problem was whether or not the cleaner wiped my desk under my work papers, or only around it! I realize for many of you, this was probably very normal, but for me it was completely foreign.

Then, just before tea, came the first ‘bomb’ – literally. That’s when my father-in-law’s words hit home. Once they start eating what we eat, when they go to the bathroom is just as bad as if we just did it on the floor. Gross!

On day 3 we tried to keep his diaper on, but on day 4 we gave up. These disposable diapers are a great idea, but the only downside is that kids can work them too. So Day 4 was the same, but on Day 5, he started using the potty himself and was very proud of doing potty.

You know, there’s a sense of accomplishment when you see the light go on in those little eyes when they know they’ve done well. He would proudly display his achievements and receive considerable praise for a job well done. His older brother also did very well and was equally ecstatic the first day he proudly announced that there were ‘no accidents’.

My life has changed, and I am too distracted by these strange and familiar events to even notice. I just realized it when, at the end of that second week, I looked at my children and I saw, for the first time, there were 4 perfect and wonderful youngsters in front of me. Each thirsts for knowledge and excitement, each with their own thoughts and perspectives on things. This was my family. It was an amazing revelation and it hit me hard.

Week 3 and injuries have decreased. Recreation was easier and meeting every personal need came naturally. When my phone rang, it was now an annoyance, even though I still wasn’t guaranteed any work. The children and I began to work in a bit of a routine. I started looking for opportunities to help my wife at home too and she (while recovering some things I did wrong) told me she really appreciates it. I was used to Executives and Senior Management congratulating me on an excellent presentation or the successful delivery of a project, but this was different. I realized that, although we had a great relationship, these weeks brought us closer. I had a greater understanding of what she did and a greater appreciation of the effort required to be a good mom – and she was the best.

As Week 4 is coming to an end, I have successfully found work and am starting in just over a week. While it took a weight off my shoulders, it also made me feel a pang of regret. I would go back to this life again, always busy, always pushing hard, and I found it now has much less appeal to me. While I need to work to make ends meet, this really got me thinking about ways to make it possible for me to spend more time with my children.

Now my children run to me and we love each other. I know I will miss them more than anything and I will miss my wife more than ever when I am away from home. I am really glad that I spent this time with them. It was one of the most precious times in my life and I will always cherish these memories.

As a result of these few weeks, I had two main revelations:

1. I realized that if I didn’t have to go to an office, I would like to help my wife in her work. As our children grow together, this is a job where the challenges are constantly changing.

2. I could be rich if I invented disposable diapers, or bonjella (to relieve gum pain, it’s a really wonderful thing).

I’ve also made some changes that I know I have to stick with and my daily list will now include:

– Always thank my wife for doing everything she does and being everything she is

– Always take time to talk to each child individually and find out about their day

… and most importantly …

– Make sure I buy a lotto ticket every week

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