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Handling Irresponsible Siblings
My sister has been self-absorbed her whole life. He takes no responsibility for his hateful actions and constantly blames others for his actions. Our mother had a stroke in 2006. She refused to take care of our mother until now. My uncles take care of our mother because I am also working. I can’t help but feel resentment towards him for his lack of concern and caring personality. He even abandoned his own children for the sake of his selfish satisfaction.
Since we are only two, basically, I am still the one who takes care of our family despite having a family of my own. I can’t seem to wrap my mind around the hatred my sister feels for me and the lies she told to deceive others. He wants to get sympathy from others by blaming me. Last year, she almost died from suffocation because the child in her womb had been dead for three days already and she did nothing to fix the problem. My family called me and asked me what I can do to help him immediately. The first reaction was anger because she did not take care of herself even though she was pregnant. Then I gave him money to check it. The results of her ultrasound examination showed that her bleeding was caused by a failed miscarriage. She needed to undergo an operation to have the fetus die in her womb or else she could die from hemorrhaging.
Fortunately, he survived without undergoing an operation. The baby was removed from her womb through the induction procedure. When he got out of the hospital, I advised him to be careful and consider the consequences of his actions. Because she and her husband were not on good terms, she left their children in her husband’s care when she got a job as a waitress in a barbecue house. Just a month later, he was impregnated by his co-worker, a very young man of 23 years while he was already 37 years old. I swore I would not help him again because I could not tolerate such irresponsible behavior.
I really don’t know what happened to him. Now her belly is already 8 months old. He asked me for money for his ultrasound and health care. Her so-called boyfriend left her a month ago. Now she is left alone with the burden of raising the baby and the possibility of facing accusations of adultery from her legal husband.
Am I to blame for his circumstances?
When he needs me, I’m always there for him. But he will not listen to his family. He thinks that his family is bad and an obstacle to his happiness. Now I am facing a bigger problem – where to get money for its delivery next month. He has not prepared a single penny. Her co-workers thought I was a bad sister when in fact she was like this. He never appreciates the good things you do for him. He doesn’t even know how to thank you for your efforts.
He has not done anything productive in his life. He does not care for his children. He has 3 children already. Now that she is pregnant, that would make them 4. She makes excuses and blames others for her situation. She blames me for not having a tubal ligation so she doesn’t get pregnant again. He acts like a victim and takes no responsibility for his situation. He views me as a manipulative and abusive sister although in other ways. He even threatened me to end everything because there is nothing left to live for.
I allowed him to make his own choice. I never told him what to do. But often, I explained to him what his choice could lead him. But now I realize that he needs to be slapped for acting like an idiot and doing something completely inane that will hurt others, especially his children and himself. He needs a little shake to bring him back to reality.
I can’t always be there for him because I have my own kids too. But one thing is certain, he can count on me in times of need.
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