How Much Baby Food Should A 4 Month Old Eat Permissive Parenting – A Spirited Child – Does Your Child Rule the Roost?

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Permissive Parenting – A Spirited Child – Does Your Child Rule the Roost?

There are really many approaches to parenting. Most of us who are raising children now grew up with authoritative parents, you know the “do what I say and not what I do” and “because I said so, that’s why” type of parenting.

As new parents we remember those years of frustration at what we considered thoughtless parenting. As adults, we read all the parenting books, subscribe to parenting magazines, and want to be the best parents we can possibly be. We are organic, natural – living, flexible and easy going. What is not worship? We will show the world (and our own parents) that parenting means peace, kindness and love and that we have all the answers, before we have children that mean.

Along comes a child, maybe even a few. If you have a calm temperament baby than he will easily fit into the normal parenting boxes that all the books talk about, and tolerant parenting works very well. The Positive Parenting book will give you great examples to keep and that work perfectly with docile children.

But what about the spirited child? And the rebel that seems hard to make you pull your hair out? The child makes you wonder ‘what did I do wrong’ because it is very difficult. You never thought that parenting could be so difficult, and sometimes you feel like you want to run away and hide from it all. You can be in tears every day and you can ask God ‘why?’ You never signed up for this!

You can’t see any parenting errors. You are a wonderful parent, let Johnny have his freedom and think for himself as humans should. You give explanations for everything you do, to live democratically; and yet you feel like your child’s energy could take over you at any moment. It drags you to stores and on play dates. You’re running ragged, you’re at your wit’s end and you want things to be different. But where are the real answers? How have things changed?

If it sounds like I’m talking about experience, I am.

I knew him when he was six months old. This was no ordinary baby. I knew it when I was called to the principal’s office day after day in Kindergarten. I knew it when I kept a constant fear in my heart of how my child would act in the family and in public. Would he decide to listen today? Would I be able to ‘manage’ it today?

Once you get into the habit of what I call “Loving Discipline Parenting”, your family will transform. At some point, there is a natural tendency to be lenient (due to your flexible personality) you will have to realize that a healthy parent-child relationship means having a strong sense of personal power. If your child is intelligent, you certainly see that he has no problem with his own sense of personal power, so why should you? Smart children can teach us a lot.

My journey to a peaceful, low-stress home has been a long one. Here we are. Once I started applying the basic principles of Loving Discipline Parenting, life turned around 180 degrees and everyone is happy now. Our family bond has never been tighter and we love every day. I will now share with you some of the basic aspects of Loving Parent Discipline.

1. Redefine your idea of ​​who you think your child is. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. What you think about your child becomes the role he fills. Think about and describe your relationship with your child honestly. Let it all out. It’s OK for things to NOT be OK. We must recognize the current situation for the healing to begin. Now start thinking about what results you want to see happen. Keep this image in mind as you continue to implement new ways of parenting. Only describe your child in positive terms to others, and start looking at the positive aspects of your child’s character yourself. This begins to set the standard for your new relationship with your child. I’m surprised how often I see parents unwittingly (perhaps) commenting how difficult their children are to their children. What message do you think the child is sending? The kids will not be disappointed. Change the way you see your child and your relationship with your child, and you will see the changes.

2. Set boundaries and keep them. This is especially difficult for those of us parents who are so open and free-spirited. We do not like limits ourselves, why would we push them on our children? Kids desperately need boundaries right now. In order for them to feel safe, they need to know that you are ultimately in control. They need to know they can depend on you to step up and step in to advocate for something. What are you defending with a laissez-faire attitude? You must set an example of a good sense of self for your child to understand the true meaning.

3. Give your child responsibility. For us, this meant a responsibility chart to begin with, for the whole family, not just the children. Now we leave it and my children understand that we are a community, a family living together and everyone must participate and help for the well-being of the community. Giving children responsibility encourages growth and maturity. The children, whining as they may, are then able to understand the value of a hard day’s work. Teach them the value of helping family and community. Helping the family is expected and required. No hands.

4. Remove food coloring and unhealthy junk food. I cannot emphasize this enough. Many children have behavioral reactions to food coloring and preservatives. You may not be aware of it especially if your child tends to eat these types of food on a daily basis. You may just think that your child has a personality disorder and is rebellious or refuses to listen. Food dyes and preservatives have been linked to ADHD symptoms. Darting eyes, not paying attention, lack of focus or concentration: these are all associated with food dyes and allergic reactions to preservatives. My son has made tremendous progress and eliminated these on his own.

5. For every fault you find in your child, find its opposite (eg. how can persistence be useful in the real world?) When we are frustrated, we tend to see more negatives than positives, even if we are generally positive people. Realize that this special child of yours will help you grow spiritually and emotionally if you allow that growth to happen.

6. Just as you respect other people, ask them to respect you so that your child respects others too. This includes communication, choice of words, listening to each other, respect for the well-being of others and property. You must not give up on this. Children who do not respect their parents and others often end up in very bad situations.

7. Sit down and talk with your child – Explain the changes Your child will need an honest explanation of the changes that will be made. Your child is smart. He knows things are out of control, he feels it and yet he has no idea how to make things better. For a long time he felt a feeling of rejection in one form or another from others and even from you (those frustrated looks, tears, those sighs). You and your child are a team, there is a lot of love deep inside and you will make it through this. Your relationship will improve and life will be better for everyone. Let your child know exactly what changes are going to happen and that it’s because we’re trying something new to make everyone happier.

8. Know that after the gift is over, you must continue with your consistency. Parents are like that. If you give up and go back to your indulgent ways, life will go back to how it was. Your child will feel out of control again, and so will you. As with healthy eating, new habits must be maintained in order to receive true long-lasting benefits. But the good news is that you get to start again always. Children will be angry, they may say things that hurt you.. but as long as you continue to use parental loving discipline, things will work out and they will return to the family life you have only dreamed of.

9. Respect comes naturally from a close, loving bond. If you do not have a close bond with your child now, chances are, there is also a lack of respect. Get emotionally close to your child and you will see that suddenly your child wants to do what you ask of him and is happy to help you and listen to you. He does this because he loves being close to you, and we naturally want our loved ones to be happy. Bonding with your child includes things like reading stories together every day (regardless of age), sharing experiences and recounting past experiences, taking a genuine interest in what your child does and where his interests lie, and picking up on his feelings and thoughts. into consideration (but don’t let that rule you).

10. Make your family and your children’s education the highest priority in your life. Parents can be by default or it can be a satisfying journey to really know yourself. You want the letter. Why let this opportunity for personal growth and enrichment pass you by? Sustaining an emotionally healthy family at the center of your life is actually balancing your life, improving the meaning of life and your own well-being. Involvement in your child’s education is paramount to parenting. Don’t shirk your responsibilities as a guide and educator.

Loving Kindness Parenting means that you allow freedom for your child, but your child respects the freedom of others, including your own. You are not a slave to your child’s desires just as he is not a slave to yours. Your child must respect you as much as you respect him. The kids will test every once in a while and you have to get down to their level (literally) look them directly in the eye and calmly tell them “I don’t talk to you like that, please don’t talk to me like that. .” The best thing to do when emotions run high is to lower your voice, even to almost a whisper. You stay calm and speak softly. This does not mean that you lack power in your voice and what you are saying. You have to show power… but you speak softly. This calms the emotions and lets your child know that you are very comfortable with your own sense of inner strength and that you don’t need to yell at him to know that you are heard. It is a very valuable tool served me well in Maria Montesorri’s method. It is the most important thing in my life.

By implementing these simple steps, you will see big changes in your relationship with your child and in your child’s behavior. But you have to stick with these methods. Part of the addition of parental permission is exactly NOT sticking to any kind of rigor. Only one thing must change for your situation to change. You may be afraid of making the wrong choice and harming your child in an unknown way. We all make mistakes; it’s the nature of parenting. But the result is not so disastrous as endless children and miserable, tired, worn-out parents who are on the verge of giving up in despair. Ultimately, you are responsible for your child and your child’s well-being. If your child is out of control, he doesn’t feel safe or loved. Lovingly enforced rules and boundaries really help a child know they are loved and cared for. You’re not supposed to have all the answers, but kids respect those who have convictions (even when those convictions aren’t always right) more than those who don’t. So gather that inner strength my friend and stand up. That’s why parents are proud, loving, gentle but firm who is a true educator! This is your life and you deserve to enjoy parenting for the joy it truly can be. Why suffer when the answers are right here in front of you?

In happy parents, Mellisa Dormoy

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