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Potty Training – A Simple 4 Step Formula for Initiating Toilet Training

“I’m so done with diapers!” a mother laments as she looks at the high price on the diaper pack. “Is it time for my child to start potty training?”

Potty training is a big milestone for children. But how do parents know when to start? Intuition, expectations, common sense and observation play key roles in starting potty training.

Step #1-Create a parent/child team

Potty training is a combined effort between parent and child. Some parents may assume that they are responsible, while other parents put the child in charge. In reality, potty training is a partnership. Parents provide support, pole training tools, books, and dry clothes; children do “go.”

Learning the concept that potty training is a team effort between parent and child, and not a command and control situation, is critical to success. Strict, impatient pursuit of the goal puts defeat pressure on the child, causing stress, anxiety and in some cases delaying potty training.

Step #2- Starting early does not ensure quick results

In-depth research on intensive potty training has proven that starting the process early is in fact correlated with prolonged duration of potty training. Those parents who start potty training prematurely find that the potty training process takes longer.

Children must develop bladder and muscle control before they can control the toilet. Parents can follow this timeline to prepare: 15-18 months the child feels his clothes wet; 18 months the child can urinate on the potty if it is placed on it; 2- 2 1/2 years the child can warn the parent that he has to go; and 3-4 years the child may have the ability to “hold it” and visit the toilet alone.

Step#3-Determine the child’s developmental readiness

When deciding to begin the potty training process, chronological age may not be the correct indicator of readiness. The parent should look for signs that the child is developmentally ready. This is especially true for babies born prematurely and children with developmental delays.

Some good signs of readiness are: child can sit and walk well, child can stay dry for 2 hours or more, child is interested in doing what older children or adults do, child can follow and carry out simple instructions, and read seems to understand what the potty is and uses words related to using the toilet.

Parents should assess the child’s temperament. Important questions to ask are: can the child focus, what is his attention span, does the child get frustrated easily, does the child get angry easily or discouraged.

For most children, potty training occurs between 2 and 3 years of age, and the majority of children are potty trained by 4.

Step#4-Go now, go!

Today is the day! Parents should make sure that the child is healthy, and that the house is calm and there are no upcoming disturbances such as an upcoming move, a new baby brought home, or a parent going on a trip.

Dress the child in easy-to-remove clothing such as sweatpants with an elastic waist. Snaps, buttons and zippers are difficult for little hands and time-consuming to manipulate when the urge strikes. To reduce pressure on the child, allow him to remain in diapers during the first days of potty training. Gradually transition him to underwear for a short amount of time as his dry time becomes more and more extended.

After a meal, nap, or when going outside are good times to encourage the child to go on the potty. Parents should watch for indicators of when the child may want to go.

Accompany the child to the potty and stay with him. Visits to the bathroom should be short and sweet; five minutes is a lot of time. Offer reading material, or use a potty training tool or game to make the five minutes interesting. Important: if the child wants to get out of the potty before five minutes, do not force him to stay.

Praise, praise, praise! Little milestones deserve lots of hugs and kisses. It is really something for a little tyke to jump on the potty alone, pull up his own pants, or make it to the bathroom (even if only to be a little late.) Be kind, patient, sensitive and proud Do not scold the child for having an accident, ever.

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