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Tips to Help Survive the Insanity of Parenting Young Children
At the last appointment with my doctor, he asked me what I do to relieve stress when I feel overwhelmed with anxiety. I didn’t have an answer, but I thought about it after I came up with some things. Most of these suggestions may seem pretty obvious; however, as parents we don’t always remember the simple but essential things to help us survive every day.
Get out
As a new or stressed parent, we may feel inclined to stay indoors more often than we like to admit. It’s easier to find indoor activities than to prepare toddlers for the outdoors: in winter there are layers, snow pants, hats, mittens, scarves, etc.; and in the summer there is sunscreen (have you ever tried to rub it into a 2 year old while your 4 year old walks on your feet, pushes you, and makes the 2 year old scream?).
Then, of course, there is us. While we may have been the hottest ass shaking in the nightclub back in the day, at this point in time we may not have showered for 3 days straight and look like a younger, hotter person than we thought we were. was just about giving life. .
All of the above are irrelevant when it comes to surviving with small children. It is absolutely necessary to get outside every day, even if it is just for half an hour. Let the kids run around the yard, go to the park, or just take a walk around the neighborhood. If your baby is small, walking is a wonderful opportunity for some quiet time to just think and enjoy your neighborhood, and maybe reconnect with your neighbors.
I don’t know any kid who doesn’t love being outside, even if it’s just to walk the dog with mom or dad. A happy child is a happy parent.
Discover an unknown hobby or talent
As a mother of 2 young children, I understand how difficult it is to engage in a hobby or creative endeavor, especially a new one. It is a good idea to start simple projects that do not take time to complete. When my first child was still a baby I loved to sew; however, as it grew and became more demanding, I found it difficult to complete projects due to the time it takes to measure, cut, pin, etc. Last year I decided to try knitting and it was much more enjoyable since I can knit while watching. The kids play and easily put whatever I’m working on if they need anything. When I have time to return to it, I only have to pick up where I left off.
Other ideas include joining a book club, scrapbooking, gardening (I find it very healing while the kids play in the yard!), keeping a journal, blogging, photography, running, biking, playing a musical instrument , and more. . Whatever you choose to do, it’s important to feel like you’re achieving something you really love.
Friends + Wine (or Coffee, etc.) = Happiness
In my previous life I enjoyed socializing, dancing, and drinking (I’m not talking about juice here, friends). I spent the majority of my weekends out at bars/clubs, enjoying delicious drinks while swinging my booty from side to side on the dance floor. I loved it! Those were my headless days where the only thing I had to worry about in the morning was sleeping through a headache.
I’ve definitely become more responsible since having kids, but I still enjoy wine and beer on occasion. Spending time with my friends while relaxing with a nice glass of wine is definitely a tactic I use to temporarily keep the madness at bay. I especially like to take advantage of my childless friends in this regard because it is almost guaranteed that there will be small talk about children. Not that I brag about my little geniuses, but it’s always nice to have friends who know me as “Friend” and not “Mommy-Friend”.
Exercise
I’m not talking 2-hour-long-sweat-it-out exercises – who has time for that?
When my first child was about 8 months old, I fell and hurt my hip to the point where I had trouble walking some days. I went to physical therapy and was given exercises to do in conjunction with the physical therapy I was receiving. After I felt better I kept “forgetting” to do my exercises until I finally stopped doing them all together. Fast forward 3 1/2 years and another baby later at which time an impossible pair of high heels forced me back to physio. This time was much worse and I had to go for months longer than I did before. I was better enough to stop my visits in February of this year with the agreement that I would continue my exercises at least 3 – 4 times a week. And this time I’m proud to say that I stuck with it.
I find that the 20 minutes I spend strengthening my core muscles makes me feel like I’m in control to prevent my body from deteriorating and causing me more pain and discomfort. Focusing on my physical well-being for a little while every other night makes me feel empowered. Yoga is also wonderful for this as it helps strengthen the body and mind, which most of us parents need in abundance!
Find a babysitter
Even stay-at-home moms need a break. When I worked in an office I could take breaks, including a nice one-hour lunch. What I would not give now for an hour to myself in the middle of the day! Neither my husband nor I have family where we live, so we rarely get time away from the kids. To compensate for this, we have decided to put our youngest in daycare two days a week when our 4 year old starts part-time JK in September. We worked out a schedule where I get one day a week alone with each child and one day for myself. I am excited to have some alone time because I believe it will be invaluable in my journey towards happiness and out of the depression/anxiety I have been experiencing.
I am also considering having a 13 year old across the street to watch my kids from time to time. He offered his services last year, but at that time I was not ready. However, a friend of yours suggested doing it to watch the girls while I’m at home and needs someone to help with the kids while I do other things. Then maybe after that I could babysit her for an hour or two at a time during the day (until she goes back to school, obviously) while I run quick errands. I really like this idea!
It is important to get the breaks you need to recharge your mind, emotions and body, and it is a wonderful experience for children to be away from their parents from time to time and socialize with other children and adults.
Go on Long Drive
One of my favorite activities to do is drive. I love listening to music (and yes, I sing along!) while driving, but when my kids are in the car we’re usually listening to The Muppets, Annie Soundtrack, or whatever it is, over and over again. again and again…
When we go on a long drive it’s a different scene altogether. If I catch them at the right time, they will both fall asleep and I can get about 45 minutes to myself. I once took the kids to a park that was an hour away just so they would stop screaming and I could get some peace and quiet for a bit. It was wonderful! They took a nap (which helped ease the screaming) and we had fun at the park which even included some ice cream for good behavior (from all of us).
Take a course
There is no better way to exercise this mother-brain than by taking a University/College class, or whatever type of class you may be interested in. ago!). It was slow because I can only realistically take one class per semester, and one class is hard enough considering I barely have time to eat let alone study. But the challenge makes it worth the stress, and I love the feeling of accomplishment I get with every test I write, every assignment I turn in, and every class I complete. And best of all it allows me to focus on myself and work on a career change when I’m ready to return to the workforce.
Whatever your reason, taking a class can be enriching and fun and involve a new social atmosphere than you may be used to.
Make errands easier
And finally, some tips I have for you to make life easier when you need to run errands with children:
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Park near the cart corral in the parking lot. This makes it so much easier when it’s time to leave, because you can put your kids in the car, then put the cart back without having to go too far to your parked car with kids inside.
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Park underground if you can. There is a supermarket not far from us with underground parking. This is our go-to store in the winter and on rainy days.
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Find out which days and times the stores or places you need to go to are less busy. I can always count on our supermarket being very empty on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings, so this is when I try to go and it works out for the kids, too, because they are less bad in the mornings.
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Always have snacks on hand. Children will usually calm down if offered a treat they like, and it also keeps them quiet while their little mouths are busy chewing.
Do you have any tips or suggestions to add?
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