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Two Girls in My Bed – Not Exactly a Fantasy
I woke up the other morning around 4 AM and there was this beautiful young woman in our bed between me and my wife. He was bright eyed and bushy tailed and smiled when I opened my eyes and said… “Hi daddy!” Hmmm…
“What are you doing in my swamp?” I asked him in my best Shrek personality. This, as always, produces a smile.
“Sleep,” he said.
“You don’t look like you’re sleeping to me,” I said.
Mom, now awake, decided to try to get her back to her own room and that seemed to work, but I never went back to sleep. So I tossed and turned for about an hour and finally woke up at about 5 AM and got up. I crank started the dial-up connection and went to the kitchen to start a cup of coffee. In my head, I imagined the two tasks competing in a head to head race to see which would get accomplished first: the finished product in a cup of coffee or finally get online through the archaic dialup with low KBs connection. To my surprise, the computer won hands down. Adding the necessary ingredients to my coffee, I made my way towards the desk, put the coffee on the desk, positioned the chair in a comfortable environment, and put my hands on the keyboard. Ah yes, I can write.
Did I just hear something? A creaking door, perhaps? I turned my back to catch a glimpse out of the corner of my eye quickly heading towards our bedroom where I hoped my wife didn’t suffer the same fate as I did this morning trying to get back to sleep.
“Hey!” I shouted out loud. Feeties pitter-pattering the face stopped dead in their tracks, turned 180 degrees and bee-lined for the office.
“I can’t sleep,” he said.
“Enter the club,” I said. He tried in vain to tell me he was scared, but I could tell otherwise with his gorgeous eyes, but lying. It is not a very accomplished fiber yet.
“Why don’t you lay on your bed with the door open for a while and I’ll protect you since you’re next to the desk,” I offered.
“Okay,” he said excitedly. Too excited for me to think this was going to have any semblance of endurance. Sure enough… a few moments later, he appeared back in the office to tell dad a really cool story. Of course it was new and he was making it up as he went along. You have to love his 5-year-old imagination. I have no idea where he got it.
Now, if I were mommy, I would bring her back to bed and say … you need your sleep because I don’t want you to be a bad girl in Nanny today and high maintenance when you finally get home the evening This is howling and crying in protest, and that he was afraid and that he was not tired. But I’m not mommy. And I didn’t want to hear either crying or crying at this time of day. I simply do not have the courage to prevent my wife when it comes to these matters.
“Look daddy!” he said, referring to the pre-dawn light coming through the corners of the mini-blinds, “it’s already morning!”
“Uhuh,” I said, “but it’s still early honey and I want your mommy to be able to sleep.”
“Can I stand still?” he asked if I would leave him. How does it do this?
“If you stay in your room and take care of yourself without waking your Mommy.” She went happily and I didn’t really think mommy was going to go back to sleep in all honesty. He has an uncanny ability to lie there for hours trying, though. And I used to get up early when I was young. And look at me … I turned out just … well? … Hmmm … wait a minute!
“Garden! Go back to bed!”
“Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!” Now … even the dog was wide awake. I clicked on the red X on the top right corner of the monitor screen and called it a day on the internet.
This very morning, as I write…I went through the exact same routine as the other day, awake with my daughter wide awake between my wife and me. I got a little further from the morning routine. I already got my stats on the preseason football games and the final cuts when I heard…
“Mommy!” Oh wow! 6:15 AM is what the clock shows. Wow… he’s sleeping in, I thought to myself sarcastically. “MOMMY!” He shouted even louder and more enthusiastically while I was deep in thought. One would think I should intercept the hollers before they produce a wide-awake mother.
I went to his room and opened the door. “What’s the matter, honey?” I asked.
“I want my nut.”
“You know, daddy,” he said with a degree of contempt and a dash of sarcasm. It’s a little early for that, don’t you think?
“Um… NO! I don’t know.”
“The peanut.” I’m still clueless. “I think it’s up on the shelf with my ballerina puppet.” I moved the puppets and didn’t see any peanuts. “That’s the one I got out of the woods, daddy!” Obviously, he finally realized his father still had no idea what he was looking for. “The Black Squirrel! Hello!” Yeah, full blown sarcasm. I hate to admit he got that from me.
Now I finally understood what he was looking for. He found an acorn in the woods once while hiking with his kindergarten class. I did not, in all honesty, see this crazy Acorn in several months and why I am looking for this damn nut at 6:15 this morning when I could write a blog entry is well beyond my domain reasoning.
“There’s no acorns up here, Jadyn,” I said.
“Oh…okay. I thought it was.” Uhuh…sure you did. Conniving ti… Man, I love it though.
As I tried to leave her room and close the door, I got the “I have to go potty” routine, so I just knew she wasn’t coming back to bed. I used to get up early as a child. And look at me. I came back just fine. Hmmm… wait a minute. No. I don’t want him to cry this morning. I just have an idea for a blog entry. How about petty corruption?
“How about I draw you a picture and you stay real quiet and don’t wake up mommy.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah!” she practically cried. So much for keeping the house quiet, I thought while the dog came out of the room.
Anyway…Mommy is still in bed (wide awake, I’m sure) and my daughter is laying on the sofa watching her TiVo’d TV show. And that gave me the opportunity to write this. Thank you God!
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