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30 Truths About Motherhood
We spoke to 30 mums who have been there, done that and lived to laugh about it!
About Pregnancy
1) You can never have enough pictures of yourself with your growing belly.
2) Doctors are not God, what they say is not cast in stone. Trust your instincts and follow what you believe is the right path for you and your baby.
3) Your hormones can take you from being a sweetheart to a raving maniac then to a crying frenzy in ten seconds or less.
4) Drive your sex to take an extended vacation.
5) Being in bed can really get to you! So start preparing the nursery as soon as you find out you are pregnant.
6) See a chiropractor for your back pain.
7) Get professional belly photos taken. You actually finished watching them.
8) Measure your belly circumference just before you go into labor
9) Take some pictures looking down on your stomach to capture the view you had every day!
10) Start now to learn to sleep on your side. It will pay off later as you get bigger. Sometimes it helps to use some extra pillows.
About Work
1) Labor doesn’t feel like cramps, doesn’t feel like poop, doesn’t feel like unlubricated sex. It’s more like a watermelon trying to force its way out of your body!
2) After an epidural you will fart. A lot!
3) Bring your own toilet paper with you to the hospital. Our taxes don’t pay for soft toilet paper, and you don’t want to rub yourself with sandpaper after just giving birth. Pack two rolls, one for before delivery (even after your water breaks), and one for after.
4) Bring an extra battery for the camera (just in case).
5) Find a doula. His only concern is you and the baby. He saw a hundred different births, helped a hundred different women and a hundred different pains.
6) You have to actually deliver the baby as if it were another baby!
7) You might poop while pushing in labor.
8) When your water breaks, it’s not one big bubble… it’s many bubbles.
9) Not only will your hoo-ha hurt after labor…EVERYTHING hurts!
10) How painful to go to the bathroom after giving birth! If it is intolerable you should sit on the toilet behind, facing the wall when you urinate (this way there is less pressure down and you can keep on the toilet crying if necessary!)
On life after birth
1) Learn breastfeeding positions – certain ones are better for certain people. The football hold is not a good position for small breasted women.
2) You don’t need a lot of clothes for a newborn… You have to store what you buy!
3) Your first birth is not a predictor of your second birth. If your first job was difficult, your second might be easier.
4) sleep deprivation is a torture method for a reason and you will find out exactly why.
5) Not all bathrooms have a baby changing station. Be sure to find out exactly which mall has a nursing room before you head out!
6) Men really can sleep through a crying baby.
7) If you think you have enough pads for your postpartum experience, you are wrong. Buy another pack. And another. It’s better to have too much than to gamble on your husband bringing home the good stuff.
8) I wish someone would tell me that men are slower at “getting it” and what the baby wants and needs.
9) Boys need the hood pointed down on the nappy or they can pee out of themselves very easily.
10) Don’t warm the bottle too much because your baby will get used to it, and then you’ll have to stick to the bottle or get a bottle warmer that takes forever! The same goes for food!
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