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Anxiety Attack – And Counterattack
How do you manage your stress so it doesn’t run your life?
I consider stress to be part of the human condition. We all worry about things we have no control over, such as illness, loss, injury, and the prospect of death (ourselves or a loved one). In order to maintain balance, we all need to think about how to manage our lives. No one can control everything, but we all have enough to move forward with strength and hope.
When we take care of every situation, we are trying to mistake it for the lack of real stress. Jobs taught me something about how to manage their stress. Doctors do it with diagnosis. Accountants do it with numbers. Writers deal with words. Lawyers deal with the law.
Some people satisfy their needs by controlling people. Examples include teachers, administrators, military leaders, and the president of the United States. Some people seem to need more control than others!
When I see someone who is very stubborn – children or adults – I think that this person has a lot of stress and therefore needs a lot of control. People who find part or all of their lives out of control are not easy. The more uncontrollable things seem, the tighter they become.
Stress can cause chronic or persistent problems. We’ve all had moments when we can’t sleep. Some of us wake up at 3:00 in the morning with bad feelings. Some people freak out before or during the exam. Medical tests or procedures make us very nervous. Disasters and catastrophes—fires, car accidents, serious illnesses, and deaths in the family—shatter our peace.
Sometimes, too, stress tells us that our body is struggling. Fear, for example, may indicate that our way of life is causing our body to become unbalanced: achtung! If you live in fear of attacks, you should know that stress management is a life skill that we all need to acquire.
To help us control ourselves, our brain is constantly giving feedback to our body and getting messages back. At any time, I will notice that my nose itches, that I start to feel hungry, or I feel irritated (anxiety!) from a bad phone call or a big bill which arrived yesterday in the mail.
In any case, I have to recalibrate myself by making some decisions. Anxiety is just one of the many internal feelings I have to respond to. I call on many ideas to solve problems and make myself better. By treating myself daily I can work and follow my priorities.
If stress looms large in your life, keep the problem. When are you stressed? Where are you when you are stressed? What is it like in your body? Get yourself a book. Write a few lines a day. How stressed are you, on a scale of 1 to 10? What happened at the time? How long does it last? What helps reduce or complete? How much stress do you have in a week?
Play the scientist. The more you understand how stress plays in your life, the better you will be able to manage it. In this way, you will gain control.
Strategy 1: Take Control. If certain activities or situations cause you anxiety, plan ahead. What precautions and support can you put in place to make it less stressful? Imagine the worst. Then tell yourself that you are ready for anything.
Some of the most unpleasant jobs in life are unavoidable. For these, consider putting the blinders on: don’t think about the mammogram until you get to the doctor’s office. If fear creeps up on you in the days before the appointment, treat it like you would a cup that you dropped in the kitchen.
If the glass breaks, you will immediately sweep the shards with a duster and brush and throw them in the trash. Then, so that no bare feet can be on any of the slivers that you miss, you will probably vacuum the floor. If you have kids around, you’ll be taking the trash out of the house all the time. Do the same with negative thoughts. Put a lid on them, and put a cup inside.
Enjoy yourself. Talk to yourself out loud. If this feels strange, try practicing in front of the bathroom mirror: “A piece of cake! I can do this. No big deal. This won’t take long. I did it.” many difficult things ahead. This will be over soon,” and so on.
Remember that antidepressants are controlled. Viktor Frankl, the author of Man’s Search for Meaning, explains how to survive in a concentration camp by removing the brain from danger. In his mind’s eye he imagines himself researching and interpreting the events around him from afar. This technique, known to new journalists, helped him stay calm when many people died. You can do the same by changing your frustration to remind yourself of the ways that you, the master of your life, have control. If your heart is pounding when you step on the Claiborne Pell Bridge, remind yourself how much you want to see Newport, Rhode Island, on the other side.
Tip 2: Avoid stress. When dread creeps up on you, distract yourself. Stay busy. Choose a job or activity that will keep your mind occupied and free of problems.
Schedule a worry. Tell yourself, “I’ll worry about that from 4:30 to 5:00 tonight, so I can’t think about it now.” Then hold yourself to the conversation. When 4:30 comes around, see how worried you are.
Wrack your brain for something good from the past, maybe a day at the beach or time spent with an important family member. Choose a memory with many clear thoughts-azure blue, wind-swept sky; the sun is shining; the smell of hot, sweet hay; the lick of a cold lake; the mellow peal of old church bells; Taste of gooey roasted marshmallows. Then, every time a bad thought strikes, just shift your mind to the rich, satisfying memories you’ve identified.
Tip 3: Accept Your Anxieties. If your anxiety is a monster that threatens to overwhelm you, give it a name. It is not you, after all, but something separate from you.
Act on your anxiety. Talk to him. “Okay, Angie, I’m ready for you. I’m yours. Sock it to me. Do your worst and be done with it. You can’t get the best of me.”
If specific activities make you nervous—planes, elevators, syringes, crowds, car accidents—try some therapy. Make a plan to avoid problems for yourself. For example, if you are afraid to go up in an elevator, you might take a friend with you to see one. On the next visit, you will bring yourself closer to the elevator. At the end, you will go up with the door open. Then you will go up and close the door.
You get the picture. On each visit, you will push yourself as far as possible before the stress is over. Finally you will succeed in reprogramming yourself!
Tip 4: Parent Yourself Wisely. Take good care of body and soul. Alcohol, caffeine, and cigarettes cause stress. Eat sensibly, and get a good night’s sleep. Exercise every day, and let your exercise relieve you of stress. When you work up a sweat, think about the things that make you. In this way you can drive anger and tension out of your body.
Keep track of your progress often. Congratulations on your achievement. Congratulate yourself.
Apparently this hard work is paying off. Reward yourself for being patient. Know how to give yourself a treat that takes a few minutes, a few hours, and a few days. Be kind to yourself as you would a child.
Don’t sweat the small stuff or things that happen or are otherwise out of your control. Ask yourself, before you waste a lot of time and energy, “In twenty years, who will know the difference?”
Have faith. Tell yourself daily or often, “With God’s help I can handle whatever this day brings.”
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