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Are You a High Hopes Parent? How Your Positive Thinking Affects Your Child
Quick…How did the song win the Academy Award for Best Original Song in 1959?
If you know the trivia, congratulations! It’s the song, Hope in the movie, The Head (not the most famous movie, I admit). The song became popular after Frank Sinatra recorded it in 1961.
In the wake of modern turbulence, the song seems banal:
Next time you see, with your chin on the ground,
There’s a lot to learn, so look around.
That’s just what happened to that little old ant
Think he’ll move that rubber tree?
Who knew the ant could not move the rubber tree,
But he has high hopes, he has high hopes…
And the ant may not be able to move the rubber tree by itself, but if it hopes enough, it is likely to succeed, because there is hope, inspiration has a place against. And with hope, resiliency reigns. Without it, discouragement can be paralyzing and make good solutions for the poor.
High hopes may seem like a myth when we look today at all the suffering, destruction, unhappiness, and fear, fear, and fear. However, brain research continues to document that optimists are better at solving problems. What’s more, it is very clear that we pay for growth. And on the contrary, what we do not give our attention to, shrinks. If we focus on our hope, our hope will grow. If we fall into despair… well, that, of course, washes away our hope.
Do we see our son’s strength or are we frustrated because he lacks motivation? If we do not listen to his strength, those who are true will not grow and the “problem” of motivation will increase. Are we seeing our daughter’s feelings or are we always talking about her frustrations? That’s the way the grumpiness grows. The human brain is not a beautiful device that works randomly. No, it follows a good principle. And one of the main principles is that the focus of our attention, to a large degree, creates the reality we experience. This is not New Age mumbo jumbo, although new people are investing in the fascinating way our brains work. There are many studies on the subject. In fact, the Satisfaction Survey, one of the foundations of the PCI guidelines is a process that is based on this research. Appreciative Inquiry itself has been researched to be powerful because it uses techniques with the human brain in mind.
The truth is that hope will increase, if we pay attention to what hope is showing. Soon, there was more hope to talk about and our words were more hopeful. With so much hope in front of us, we see it in other people and in our world more often and faster. Before we know it, the negative is reduced by the lack of attention and the positive is increased—almost as if by magic! Yes, then we have more hope… the progress continues… many good things happen.
Our world is very difficult for us to change our thoughts to hope, to things that can lead and improve life. And I believe it has a lot to do with our parents. How can we focus on hope, positivity, and work in our daily lives with our children?
Here are five considerations for hopeful parenting in times of crisis.
In his research, CR Synder (The Psychology of Hope, The Free Press, 1994) found these important signs:
1. Parents who hope to get what they want. They are decisive and business-like and flexible, especially when times are tough. Decisions can be made to have a clear vision of what we want for our children and our families. Determination means having the mental strength and physical stamina to stay with the competition long enough for effective resolution. If we give up, we are sure to be defeated. Your self-care goes a long way to help you make decisions when the going gets tough. Pay attention to the signs when you feel like giving up. Instead of thinking about what you can give yourself and your children that will focus on your inner strength and develop your motivation.
2. Parents who hope to listen well. Listening and paying close attention to our children’s strengths gives us the flexibility to change course if our parenting strategy isn’t getting the results we’re looking for. Often we can learn from our children what they want when we follow our feelings and answer this question from our honesty: What will add life to nature what? When we look at our children from this point of view, we will find ourselves seeing the many things we can do to help them succeed, so they are proud of their current talents and look forward to them. their future with hope.
3. Children look up to their parents for success. It seems that hopeful parents show that they are independent by being successful. This definition of success is not the definition that our world cares about—a big house, a big car, a lot of money, etc. Success is measured as “Having self-esteem and a positive image of themselves.” This affects children on many levels-good parents with high self-esteem grow hopeful, happy, and confident children with high self-esteem!
4. Hopeful, comforting parents. When there is concern or difficulty, parents are expected to support children and act as support during stressful situations. In thinking is a characteristic of parents who have more hope. They don’t let negative energy affect their ability and presence for their children. They are able to be negative on the spot so that the children do not mean: “There is no time for me.” Stressed-out parents can’t accept children’s emotional needs. Parents hope to foster trust and openness in parent-child communication, keeping the door open, even at a young age!
5. Parents hope to encourage children’s independence and abilities. This doesn’t mean anything goes. What it means is that by focusing on what the child is doing well every day, over time, parents make a good understanding of the child. With that comes the belief in the child of his talents and skills. In the words of one of the children in Synder’s study: “The biggest thing I remember about my parents is that they taught me to do things for myself. But, I always know they are there for me if I’m in a jam.
It seems like the bottom line to hope for parenting is that it can help us be the best we can be, even in difficult times, and make our children the best.
Then everything is possible… for us, our children, even our world.
Copyright Gloria DeGaetano, 2010. All Rights Reserved.
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